At A Glance: Our Quick Top 4 Picks for Fleshlight Sleeve Textures

IMAGE	PRODUCT
Our Top Pick	Our Top Pick	Stamina Training Unit Replicates the sensations of sexual relations and forces you to be better in bed Will train you to last like a pornstar Best experienced with GUN OIL H2O WATER BASED LUBE	GET THE BEST PRICE →
		Elsa Jean's Fleshlight Tight & cleverly design Elsa Jean pussy mold. One-size fits all! Best experienced with GUN OIL H2O WATER BASED LUBE	GET THE BEST PRICE →
		Fleshlight Destroya Very tight and intense texture will make you cum like a champion The ultimate 360 degrees massage to your penis Best experienced with GUN OIL H2O WATER BASED LUBE	GET THE BEST PRICE →
		Fleshlight Turbo Realistic and satisfying alternative to oral sex Discreet & Easy to Hide Best experienced with GUN OIL H2O WATER BASED LUBE	GET THE BEST PRICE →

Looking for male sex toys online can become a long, drawn-out process that ends in little more than an expensive disappointment.

In fact, it’s often downright bullshit and it’s time for that to stop. Us dirty-minded dudes need something of high-quality to cram our junk into – the secret dick divas that we are.

Nobody wants to cum into a tube sock no matter what they tell you; and the folks who fuck fruits and vegetables need professional help. Thanks to some of the most innovative pervs in the industry, there are plenty of good gaping holes to explore.

However, finding that shit quickly sometimes feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It’s maddening, saddening, and . . . well, lame as a motherfucker.

You’re already shopping for fake vaginas online while in a dark and dingy room.

You don’t need any more help being perceived as a creep. So, if you’re going to do this shit, you should do it the right way.

No more of that “settling” bullshit. Quit staring at the women’s toys with jealous disdain in your eyes.

The time of the man is now, and the era of Fleshlight has just begun.

What the Hell is Fleshlight?

The Fleshlight brand is well-known for its wide variety of male masturbators and innovative accessories. Their inventory is fucking enormous, so shopping on the site can be overwhelming, especially for a newbie.

And reading customer reviews won’t help because opinions are like assholes; everybody’s got one.

You’ll end up sifting through pages of personal preference stories and loads of TMI before ending up exactly where you started – with no goddamn idea which model to buy. The struggle is real.

When we first encountered the brand, we felt that same way (and we’re professionals at this shit).

So, don’t feel like a dork if you don’t know what to choose.

Just do us a favor and don’t make the same mistake we did: wasting too much time on the decision-making process and thereby reducing the amount of time you have to enjoy your new toy before the next best thing comes out.

There’s a science to this shit, folks. Better get it while it’s hot.

Did you know that there have been over 100 different textures invented by Fleshlight?

While that number includes the famous Fleshlight Girls lineup, it also includes weird shit like the Freaks division and the damn near medical-grade Stamina Training Unit.

There’s literally something for everyone, and the brand ships to almost anywhere in the world.

This American born company is truly a global enterprise, but there is no buying guide for the fuck sticks in their impressively expansive inventory.

So, we’ve decided to change that. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.

Why Is It So Hard To Select The Best Fleshlight Texture On The Market?

Simply hopping online and picking out your brand new & best Fleshlight isn’t as straightforward as it seems, or as easy as your last girlfriend.

However, what it lacks in simplicity it more than makes up for in price.

The average full-size Fleshlight (sans accessories) costs around $80 – not bad for a sex toy that’s been meticulously designed so as to seem almost customized to your cock.

But therein lies the problem: the complex customization process that can turn into a naughty nightmare. While it’s totally possible to make a few clicks and cop a new toy for your dick, we don’t advise doing that shit by any means.

The Fleshlight brand’s lineup is far too amazing to be handling it with such blatant disregard. That’s a rookie move if we ever saw one.

With choices like textured and non-textured, oral, anal, and vaginal orifices, and fantasy-based models that are literally out of this world, refusing to take your time on this purchase is a mighty mistake. You’ve got to respect the pussy, my brothers.

That doesn’t mean this shit needs to be harder than you are, nor does it mean you need to spend hours on your shopping trip.

That’s just asinine, and we’re not about that life.

So, we have taken it upon ourselves to simplify the process so that more of our fellows can get to fucking faster.

After all, there are few things worse than being forced to wait before you can rub one out when you really need it (unless you’re into that kind of thing).

The problem isn’t entirely the fault of the Fleshlight brand. Buying a brand-new sex toy is an extremely personal purchase, so don’t let us get too bossy here.

At the same time, keep in mind that we have tested and reviewed each and every one of the toys in their inventory, plus we’ve done so objectively and while also testing toys developed by rival brands.

In short, we know what the fuck we’re talking about here.

Full of eye candy and enticing promotional banners, picking out a new toy on the brand’s site can be flabbergasting regardless of whether this is your first or fifteenth Fleshlight.

So, we’ve kindly created this guide to help people like you figure shit out when finding the best fleshlight texture for yourself.

You’re welcome.

Our Top 10 Best Fleshlight Textures In 2023:

As far as the types of Fleshlights go, there are quite a few once again.

Pick your type and then begin customizing, and soon you will have a masturbator worth writing home about (although we’re not sure your mothers want to hear about this).

To further simplify things for your horny, impatient asses, we’ve compiled a list of the main types of Fleshlights with the hope that you will get the most bang for your buck in the quickest way possible:

#1. Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit – Best Fleshlight Overall

BEST FOR BORING BEDROOMS

Tired of being a two-pump chump? The Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit (STU) could provide the solution you seek. It’s a lightweight manual masturbator for men, and it uses an extreme texture to coax your cum.

The developers of this toy made sure it stimulated the most sensitive spots on your shaft, causing an explosion every time.

This durable device is also compatible with the Universal Launch automatic stroking machine.

Turn your favorite toy into a sex robot and experience hands-free endurance enhancements with vivid visuals.

The STU by itself is perfect for solo stimulation and preparing for orgasm. It even has a twist base to help you control the suction and track your progress.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Silicone

PRO: Experience noticeable stamina improvement with regular use.

CON: This toy forces ejaculation, so it might not be suitable for foreplay.

#2. Fleshlight Universal Launch Elsa Jean Pack

BEST FOR FANTASY FULFILLMENT

Combine two of the hottest forces in personal pleasure with the Fleshlight Universal Launch and the Elsa Jean male stroker.

This dynamic duo produces an array of unique sensations, with each one at your beckoned call. You can enjoy hands-free masturbation, manual solo sessions, couple’s play, or interactive fun without interruption.

The Universal Ratcheting System ensures a tight hold as the Launch strokes at variable speeds.

You can also determine different stroke lengths, adjust the intensity levels, and tailor the suction through a twist base on the manual glider.

Then sync the machine via Bluetooth to experience a real-time session with Elsa Jean or one of her sexy friends.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water (Stroker), Splashproof (Machine)
• USB Rechargeable Battery
• Skin-Safe Silicone

PRO: You can use this device when the battery runs out by plugging it into the wall.

CON: The universal smartphone mount isn’t compatible with large screen tablets.

#3. Fleshlight Destroya – Most Intense Fleshlight Sleeve

BEST FOR PORN CONNOISSEURS

Big fan of Toya the Destroya? Aren’t we all?

The Fleshlight company understands our obsession, so they made a uniquely molded toy designed to get us as close to the real thing as possible.

This device features a canal identical to hers, giving you mind-blowing experiences one stroke at a time.

The casing features a discreet design and ergonomic grip for manual play. It also has a twist-end suction control setting to help you tailor sensations and fulfill the fantasy.

Pop yours into the Universal Launch machine for virtual reality sessions unlike anything you’ve ever seen.

BONUS: Toya signed the sleeve, so it’s technically a collectible.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Silicone

PRO: You can use this stroker with the shower mount or Universal Launch for hands-free sex.

CON: The skin-like sleeve isn’t interchangeable like other Fleshlight masturbators.

#4. Fleshlight Turbo Thrust

BEST FOR VERSATILE VOYEURISM

The Fleshlight Turbo Thrust is a handheld male masturbator designed to help you fulfill fantasies and experiment with sensations.

Plus, it features a non-anatomical opening to ensure maximum use of your imagination. The device also has a textured canal to engulf your penis while simulating oral sex.

This sturdy yet lightweight penis stroker offers three insertion points and a transparent casing to help you watch the show.

Use it solo or slide it into the new Universal Launch automatic Bluetooth machine for hands-free, interactive fun.

Turbo Thrust is perfect for traveling and can keep up with even the most extreme water sports.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Soft Plastic

PRO: it acts as a much-needed wildcard in your sex-pleasure collection.

CON: The intense suction can make it challenging to manually stroke with this toy.

#5. Fleshlight Flight Pilot – Most Discreet Fleshlight

BEST FOR CONTROLLING CLIMAX

This lightweight, compact, discreet masturbator for men is the industry standard for male pleasure.

It features a simple design, an ergonomic casing, and the kind of texture to make your toes curl. The Fleshlight Flight Pilot puts you in the cockpit with a twisty base to help you control suction and customize sensations.

Inside the canal is a realist material with 6 inches of insertable space. Nubs and tendrils tickle your penis as you thrust in and out of the non-anatomical opening.

Use it alone or hand it over to a partner for a stealth mission and some erotic aerodynamics. This toy puts you back in the driver’s seat.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Soft Plastic

PRO: You can use an adapter or mount to enjoy this device hands-free.

CON: It is not compatible with the Fleshlight Universal Launch automatic stroking machine.

#6. Fleshlight Quickshot Pulse – Most Compact Fleshlight

BEST FOR RAPID RELEASE

Horny men require convenience and quality, just like dudes with low libidos.

Guys want to satisfy their urges on the go, and the Fleshlight Quickshot Pulse lets them do that.

Not only is it transparent for stimulating visuals, but it’s also lined with an extreme texture to help you to the finish line faster.

This open-ended SuperSkin sensation features two end caps to ensure maximum cleanliness and convenient storage.

The FQP is lightweight, compact, and perfect for traveling, long-distance relationships, and endurance training.

You can even use it for couples’ play if your partner is willing.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Soft Plastic

PRO: The entire device can fit inside most moderate-sized bags for discreet toting.

CON: You might have to remove the sleeve from its casing if your penis is too large.

#7. Fleshlight Turbo Core

BEST FOR SEXY SURPRISES

Experience the kind of kink that makes your cock stand at attention. Use the Fleshlight Turbo Core to dive deep into your dick’s nerve centers and pull out a powerful punch.

This uniquely designed male masturbator harnesses a patented design with multiple insertion points and a one-of-a-kind sleeve texture.

Together, it all delivers something you’ve never felt before.

Thrust into a multi-layered canal with delicate details on each one.

Then catch your cock by surprise as it glides past a scientifically developed pattern that targets your frenulum.

The FTC provides earth-shattering pleasure that mimics oral sex and is perfect for solo sessions, partner play, or anything else you can imagine.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Soft Plastic

PRO: You can use this device for stamina training, foreplay, or ultimate gratification.

CON: The intense suction may be challenging for some users to manage.

#8. Fleshlight Quickshot Launch Riley Reid Pack

BEST FOR FAST PASSIONS

The Fleshlight Quickshot Launch is cool enough on its own. But combine it with the Riley Reed molded stroker, and there’s a party in everyone’s pants.

This automatic male pleasure machine runs at speeds of up to 250 strokes per minute.

Meanwhile, the super-soft sleeve features a texture identical to one of your favorite porn stars.

Sync your device via Bluetooth to a massive online database. Then experience real-time erotica with Mr. Reed indeed.

You can mount your smartphone to the top, hold on with both hands, and let the sex robot do the rest. Manually control it or use your phone as a wireless remote.

This is going to escalate quickly.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water (Stroker), Splashproof (Machine)
• USB Rechargeable
• Skin-Safe Silicone

PRO: You can use each device with or without the other for customized play.

CON: The additional stroker attachments are sold separately.

#9. Fleshlight Quickshot Turbo

BEST FOR CREATING COLLECTIONS

This is the new and improved version of the most popular compact Fleshlight masturbator.

The Quickshot Turbo features updated engineering to ensure maximum overdrive regardless of location.

It’s also a pocket-sized cock rocket suitable for snug sucking and quality quickies on the go.

Enjoy open-ended fun and unlimited sessions with this lightweight, compact, and simple device. Experience the patented suspended entry ring system for toe-curling pleasure and turbo-charged convenience.

This sex toy is perfect for personal enjoyment, partner play, or otherwise.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Soft Plastic

PRO: This sleeve pairs perfectly with the Fleshlight Quickshot Bluetooth Stroking Machine.

CON: The open-ended design doesn’t envelop your penis the way closed sleeves do.

#10. Fleshlight Pink Lady Classic – Most Realistic Fleshlight Texture

BEST FOR SMOOTH CRUISING

Sometimes, simple pleasures are the best ones in life. The Fleshlight Pink Lady Classic Masturbator is an example of that.

This toy still maintains a healthy fanbase in a world filled with fancy penis strokers. It offers a silky-smooth interior that flies in the face of everything you expect sex to be.

With patented SuperSkin material and a temperature-responsive core, this little lady feels just like the real thing.

You’ll probably want to thrust deep into the 9-inch canal, so bring plenty of water-based lube. Then conceal your dirty secret inside the discreet carrying case until next time.

A lady knows how to wait.

QUICK STATS:

• Fully Submersible in Water
• No Charging Required
• Skin-Safe Soft Plastic

PRO: This device features realistic orifice detailing for exceptional visuals.

CON: The texture-free sleeve might not offer enough stimulation to some men.

Starting from Scratch: Exploring the Basics Of The Best Fleshlight Models

This toy is actually made using several well-appointed components, although there is no degree in engineering required to take it apart for cleaning and sleeve swapping.

Simple and elegant, the average Fleshlight is comprised of four click-together parts: the sleeve, its casing, the end-cap, and the protective top-cap which guards the SuperSkin material and the opening from damage and debris.

Just don’t be fooled by imitators; there are a ton of them out there.

Just because the brand has become a household name doesn’t mean that all masturbators for men can be called a “Fleshlight.”

This generic term may throw you off the boat, but we’ve got a life jacket.

There are a lot of good reasons for the brand’s fame, and they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Fleshlight is constantly coming out with new models and improved versions of their existing inventory, and the high quality of their manufacturing is obvious at first glance (especially when it’s sitting next to one of its competitor’s products).

The standard Fleshlight is super solid and it measures a healthy 10 inches (25cm) long and a little more than 3.5 inches (9.5 cm) wide – ideal for you big dick-having sons of bitches.

On the same token, the measurements and overall design of the Fleshlight make it perfect for Tiny Tims as well.

While to some folks that may seem too large, there are a shit ton of advantages to owning a toy of this magnitude.

The dimensions allow for natural-feeling movement of the textured sleeve during masturbation, which mimics the movements of the human body and further exacerbates the sexy sensations (even and especially for hefty penises). These motherfuckers have thought of everything.

No seriously, they’ve even invented an automatic machine that links up with whatever Fleshlight model you own (or with the Kiiroo Onyx or Pearl) to provide people with a wild, high-tech ride.

It’s called the Launch and it’s fucking amazing. It syncs with Bluetooth and drives itself through virtual porn and live sex sessions with remote partners in real-time, plus it’s compatible with Oculus Rift and other VR devices. If you don’t already own one, or if you have a couple hundred dollars burning a hole in your pocket, get yourself a Launch.

You will NOT be sorry. We promise.

Unsheathe the Top Fleshlight Sleeves

Back to the basics: the sleeves of these bitches come in numerous shapes, sizes, and colors. In fact, the Fleshlight Ice is completely transparent for you nasty voyeurs out there, and the “Freaks” lineup resembles alien and werewolf pussy if you can believe it.

Even better is that once you buy your first model it’s possible to purchase only the interchangeable sleeves from then on.

However, we suggest opting for the full kit and caboodle because each model is designed specifically to work in tandem with its own casing (plus, the shit is crazy affordable and is viewed as a collectible in some circles).

Inside the ergonomically perfect and relatively lightweight outer casing that famously resembles a standard flashlight, a Fleshlight toy is little more than a textured masturbation sleeve.

The sleeve, which is a hollowed-out, highly textured tube made out of the brand’s patented SuperSkin material, is created to feel as life-like as possible.

There is even an entire collection molded after the mouths, pussies, and asses of the world’s top porn stars.

What will they think of next?

Oh yeah, Fleshlight even has a few Sex in A Can (SAIC) products which look like regulatory beer cans and use the brand’s famous material for the inside just like the standard versions do.

These Fleshlight bastards are masters of disguise, despite their tiny mistake of slapping a huge and somewhat telltale label on the side of those cans.

Then again, it’s not like Pilsner was going to offer up their label for Fleshlight to use, and without one the can looks oddly conspicuous.

So, we appreciate the compromise, even if the standard full-size models are where the party really is.

Regardless of your choice of toy, you will soon be enjoying what’s commonly referred to as “the most realistic feeling shit known to man.”

Okay, so we’re the only ones who say that, but still. The SuperSkin material we keep talking about is what made Fleshlight so famous, so it’s certainly worth mentioning.

Use the brand’s sleeve warmer and voila! It feels almost exactly like real sex. Add in the hands-free fun of the Launch and you can pack your lover’s bags and place them by the door.

To the left, to the left.

There are a ton of extras and accessories to boost your manly morale, but the most important part of the Fleshlight is the sleeve.

Even if you have a Launch or are planning on getting one, you’ll still want to explore the texture options of the various sleeves available to you. The volume of your sex toy arsenal is not nearly as essential as the variety within it.

That, dear Watson, is the spice of life.

Skin Care Tips

Super skin requires super maintenance, right? Apparently not. Caring for your Fleshlight sleeve was made entirely too easy by the manufacturer – requiring little more than a splash of water.

The brand sells toy cleaner and a type of preservation powder, and while that shit is not necessary, it certainly prolongs the life of your toy.

Don’t be a cheap ass. Get you some.

Also, it’s of paramount importance that you keep your toy (namely your sleeve) protected by a covering at all times when not in use.

That material, albeit natural feeling, can become sticky when it’s not lubed properly. This causes it to gather lint and other debris, some of which isn’t entirely visible.

Bacteria and mold can grow on it too (how’s that for real?), so don’t forget to clean it thoroughly when you’re done with your come-down cigarette.

Fleshlight Textures, Glorious Textures

Enough about the sleeves being important and how awesome the material is.

Let’s discuss the second most important part of the Fleshlight: the textures. Holy variety, Batman.

This is where a lot of good men go down, lost in a sea of sexual healing with no clue about the best medicine.

The brand has introduced at least 100 unique sleeves to the market at this point, ranging from pretty standard to downright fucked up.

Depending on your sexual appetite (or the occasion), Fleshlight probably has something in stock that will suit your needs.

They’re like the Build-a-Bear for sex toys, and we think that’s adorable.

While a few of the original sleeve textures have since been discontinued, their replacements are far superior.

There are still a gagglefuck of textures ranging from hyper-realistic (Classic) to ultra-intense (Stamina Training Unit – STU) to sci-fi (Freaks) and beyond (Fleshlight Girls and Launch).

A few of the brand’s most popular textures are cross-bred with one another to form super unique sensations.

For example, the Lotus Node texture is combined with the Heavenly, Primal, and Zombie textures to create a magic trick that juices your dick like it’s an orange.

There is a spiraling zig-zag of bumps and ridges in the Vortex texture as well, which can be found combined with the Bump n’ Grind sleeve from the Fleshlight Girls lineup.

So, you can either do this the easy way or the hard way: try out a few Fleshlight textures to find the one that’s right for you, or get to know your family jewels so you can make an educated decision.

Open Wide: Fleshlight Orifices and Orgasms

As if that weren’t enough variety for 10 people, Fleshlight also offers an array of orifices to get the party started, including one that looks like a futuristic cyborg pussy, a line of extraterrestrial twats, and even a vampire mouth that comes complete with fangs (we’re not even kidding).

If that’s not enough to appease your outrageously erotic appetites, there’s also a double clitoris, you needy bastards.

Choosing the opening to your masturbator is purely an act of personal preference.

Each one adds its own element of visual appeal, and the Fleshlight Girls collection even features autographs from the porn stars who inspired them (for those of you who collect).

Most models have a mouth, pussy, or ass-shaped orifice, and the majority of them are compatible with the interchangeable sleeves.

The orifice won’t change how your toy functions unless you want it to, nor will it negate the effectiveness of the sleeve’s texture.

While some of the specialty orifices are limited to a few of the classic textures, most of them are not.

Be sure to determine those details prior to falling in love with any of their toys or you could be sorry.

Picking the Top Fleshlight Sleeve: A Quick How-To Guide

With so many choices and so little time, it can be difficult to pick out the Fleshlight toy of your dreams. Have no fear; cue the heroic music because we are here.

Fortunately for you, most of the brand’s lineup is amazing and all their toys are fun to use.

But before you get too deep inside the rabbit hole, be sure to consider a few important things about yourself and the toy (or toys) you’re about to buy.

Going into this shit all willy-nilly will end up breaking your heart and your bank account.

It’s our pleasure to help you pleasure yourself better.

These are the most important factors to consider when choosing the best Fleshlight model:

• Your penis size
• Your penis sensitivity
• Your need for visual stimulation
• Your time limits
• Your level of depravity
• Your preferred orifice
• Your budget
• Your storage options
• Your dignity

To determine where you stand, ask yourself the following questions:

• When nobody is looking, is my penis small, average, or large?
  • The average size of an erect penis is approximately 5.5-6.5 inches (14-16 cm) in length and 4.7-5.1 inches (12-13 cm) in girth.
• Do I like slow and sensual masturbation or quick and intense sessions?
  • The more texturized the toy’s sleeve and more customizable the features, the more likely you are to climax quickly.
• Do I need to see something sexy when I’m jerking it or does my imagination suffice?
  • The visual stimulation provided by some of the brand’s VR-compatible options are as close to the real thing as it gets.
• Do I have a nasty or unusual fantasy that I’d like to fulfill in the privacy of my own home or with an equally perverted partner?
  • The attention paid to the fetish, fantasy, and couple’s play customers is outstanding.
• Do I prefer a mouth, pussy, or asshole for my toy’s orifice?
  • The majority of Fleshlight toys can be used with all three available orifices, but double check just to be sure.
• Do I get off easily or is my stamina that of a raging bull?
  • The variety of stamina improving toys in their lineup is impressive, and most of them are compatible with a majority of the brand’s accessories, orifices, and sleeves.
• Do I have the money for this shit?
  • The quick answer is, “Yes you do.” But for those who second-guess the value of investing in their depravity, think of this: the average Fleshlight costs approximately $80 and it even comes with a warranty. Your partner can’t say that.
• Do I have room to store this thing when my parents come over?
  • The Fleshlight brand does a good job at creating innovative sex toys, but not every product in their inventory comes with proper storage bags or boxes.
• Do I have to explain my purchases to anyone?
  • The company does a good job at sending their products in unmarked packaging, and online purchases are protected by encryption.

Because there is no one-size-fits-all Fleshlight (unless you want to count the Launch), the best way to determine your ideal model is by considering your own personal preferences.

Reading reviews from customers can only get you so far. We suggest depending on the pros (like us) for the most accurate, objective, and dependable information.

May We Suggest . . .

Over the years, we have become admitted fans of the Fleshlight brand.

However, that doesn’t mean we kiss anyone’s ass, nor is it indicative of our lack of indifference.

We couldn’t care less whether Fleshlight sells a single product. What we care about is your libido and your ability to satisfy it.

Blue balls are no joke; we hear you, brothers.

With that said, we have a few recommendations for you because we’re nice guys like that.

We could sit back and watch as you fall off the deep end, but where’s the fun in that?

The world is a much better place when men’s stomachs are full and their balls are empty.

So, narrowing down the ideal & top Fleshlight model is a no-brainer.

Here’s are our top 5 suggestions in terms of Best Fleshlight models:

• The Stamina Training Unit – for those of you who need to work on your play book a bit.
• The Launch – for anyone who enjoys hands-free masturbation, virtual reality, real-time porn, or long-distance couple’s play. So, pretty much everybody.
• The Fleshlight Girls Collection – for shithead stalkers who want nothing more than to climb inside their favorite fuck bunny.
• The Quickshot – for lazy gluttons who want a quickie without the commitment of cleanup.
• The Ice – for self-loving bastards who want to watch their dick get what it deserves.

Picking out a proper sleeve is important as well. The intensity level of the sleeve you choose is dependent upon two main factors: the texture and the tightness. Fleshlight offers a super-tight sleeve but we think it lacks pizazz.

As mentioned, personal preference plays a huge role in the selection of a sex toy. To be honest, anything can be tight is squeezed enough; the presence of various pressure points along the more textured sleeves is what we’re fans of the most.

Although there are too many options to reveal here, we do have a few suggestions in that regard as well.

Here are our top 5 (ok, 7) texture favorites:

• The Original – for a simple man who doesn’t like all that frilly, fancy shit.
• The Fleshlight Girls Collection – for fans of professional porn stars, or for dudes who can appreciate a good texture density and tightness combo.
  • The Obsession
  • The Destroya
• The Vortex – for guys who figure they can give themselves a better blowjob than anyone else.
• The Primal – for men who want to feel like a sex-crazed caveman when they cum.
• The Wonder Wave – for anime geeks.

Now, we don’t expect you to take our word for it without backing it up. We took a scientific approach to this shit, because orgasms. Here is why we made the suggestions we did:

The Original

A cult classic, the Original sleeve is good to go on so many levels. While the texture is minimal at best, the smooth interior, supremely crafted tightness, and creamy color are on point.

Made from the brand’s famous SuperSkin material, it has all the qualities of a comfortable booty call with no strings attached.

The Fleshlight Girls Collection

Disclaimer: While all the sleeves featured in the Fleshlight Girls Collection are goddamn amazing, we would be liars if we didn’t say we had favorites.

Rest assured that you will not be disappointment regardless of which F.G. sleeve you buy, but if you want to have a really good time, take our advice:

*Obsession, by Jenna Haze

Featuring a ribbed mold of famous porn star, Jenna Haze, this sleeve’s texture is one-of-a-kind to put it lightly.

There are two different texture options for this bad boy, and each one is compatible with the brand’s accessory stock, including the Launch which features access to pre-recorded Jenna Haze sex sessions that can be relived in real-time.

*The Destroya, by Stoya

This killer texture looks nothing like a vagina, mouth, or ass, but it feels like the real thing anyway.

Hailed as one of the most realistic textures from the brand, the Destroya features side chambers for improved suction, plenty of beautiful bumps and fangs, and it even has a concave construction that gives the illusion of tightness during full insertion.

This shit is great when used with the Launch too, if we’re honest, but then again, we could say that about all of the F.G. sleeves.

The Vortex

With more than enough twists, turns, and texturing, the Vortex feels almost the same as a great blowjob – curling tongue and all. It comes in all three orifices, but we think it works wonderfully with the mouth for obvious reasons.

Either way, the effects of the design are powerful yet gentle, so we call it the most efficient sleeve in the lineup if that counts for anything.

The Primal

This big guy is quite a bit wider than most of the rest. In fact, we think it’s a terrific match for men whose nickname in high school was “Girth Brooks.” The Primal takes shit back to the basics, with a gentle and organic yet powerful and pleasurable texture that’s pretty much perfect for uncircumcised dicks.

Featuring long, tender bumps and dual Lotus nodes, penetrating the Primal is downright thirst-quenching.

The Wonder Wave

The Wonder Wave sleeve texture is clean and mean, with a semi-uniform pattern that feels like a cock car wash.

The bumps and nodes are widely spaced with diligently placed curves and waves, providing a self-perpetuating suction effect during insertion and expulsion. In other words, this bitch works wonders on your junk with minimal effort from your worn-out forearms.

Where To Buy The Top Fleshlights Online?

Due to fleshlight being the most popular male sex toy on the planet, be advised that there are a lot of chinese fakes flying around.

We suggest you buying it from the official fleshlight website only.

OFFICIAL FLESHLIGHT STORE

Dick-a-Licious Disclaimers

Keep in mind that the more intense the texture is the quicker you’ll be benched for intermission. Extreme textures aren’t suitable for everyone.

There shouldn’t be any shame in your game.

Additionally, intense sleeves are great for uncircumcised men who desire a boost in the penis/corona stimulation department.

However, that shit can be incredibly overwhelming (even painful) for newbies, so buyer beware and always use a top lube for your fleshlight.

If you have a super sensitive dick, you obviously want to go with something a little gentler. Don’t kid yourselves.

We aren’t mad at ya. By the way, you can always upgrade to a more intense sleeve later. Fleshlight gives its customers a discount for buying sleeves two at a time.

Traveling with a famous Fleshlight isn’t alarming or embarrassing either, due to the company’s international popularity.

So, using something like the compact Quickshot (Vantage or Boost versions) makes perfect sense.

Full-sized toys are usually acceptable as well, but regardless, all of the brand’s toys with SuperSkin material feel so much better after a short “breaking in” period, FYI.

I knew my roommate would probably hear what I was doing in there, but I didn’t expect to have a conversation at dinner about it. We shared an awkward exchange about my love life while eating spaghetti and watching Cops – where suspects are presumed innocent until they’re found guilty in a court of law.

I, on the other hand, was immediately found guilty of jerking off too much in my room.

The culprit was the ArcWave Ion Pleasure Air Smart Silence Male Masturbator. My roommate probably beats his meat just as much as I do, but while he’s in there sweating to the oldies I’m using the new stuff. And while his girlfriend is still wondering why he can’t find her g-spot, I’m on my bed figuring out why it’s so important.

Who would have known that this toy would breed so much jealousy and provide such a unique education?

What is the ArcWave Ion Pleasure Air Smart Silence Male Masturbator?

This little number is a new handheld penis stroker that features advanced pleasure technologies and anatomically correct ergonomics for supreme sensations. It boasts a special setting that promises absolute discretion, and it offers a variety of distinct intensity levels for optimized on-point orgasms.

Best of all, it’s packaged inside a sleek, portable, and convenient case.

The ArcWave Ion is lightweight and compact but still surprisingly powerful. Inspired by the original penis stroker but enhanced with updated user-friendly elements, this sex toy for men meets or exceeds the standard for self-contained, self-separating, self-pleasure.

Plus, it focuses primarily on the frenulum for deeper, more satisfying climaxes and better climax control.

As a sex toy designed exclusively for men, it’s ideal in several situations: solo stimulation, couple’s foreplay, stamina training, and even travel. It’s crafted for accessibility as well, with a stretchy exterior that’s appropriate for men who have mild to moderate erectile dysfunction.

You can turn it, twist it, squeeze it, and pump it while playing with the settings and enjoying a rapid cleanup afterward. Not bad.

ArcWave Ion Features Overview

High-tech sex toys for men and women are almost everywhere these days, with features ranging from motion sensors and music syncing motors to app-controlled interfaces and virtual reality connectivity. And while the ArcWave Ion isn’t exactly a futuristic device, it’s far more robotic than the best-selling Fleshlight and can be used either manually or on automatic mode depending on your preference.

It’s basically a black tube into which you cram your ham, but it’s shaped and sized to fit in the palm of your hand. Tapered and tastefully textured, the insertable canal is packed with realistic ridges and a frenulum-targeting action pad that sends waves of pleasure from one end of your junk to the other.

As expected, the most marketed feature on this toy is the Pleasure Air Technology. Instead of using traditional vibrations or suction, it sends concentrated pulses of air to specific parts of the penis.

Scientific and sexy, this streamlined shaft smasher also has Smart Silence Technology, which is supposed to make it as quiet as a church mouse and shut off when it’s not touching your skin.

The sextech doesn’t stop there, though. Exhibit A) the CleanTech silicone, which is designed to help users get dirty without being funky, and Exhibit B) the DryTech stick, which makes it easy to finish quickly in more ways than one.

This men’s sex toy is sleek, sophisticated, and supposed to deliver reliable, routine rendezvous after only a quick charge.

Meanwhile, it boasts eight different pleasure settings and each one was designed to pinpoint parts of the penis that other sex toys can’t. There are few customization options and no compatibility with other devices, but the ArcWave Ion seems to be self-sufficient and submissive to its primary purpose.

Its unique features – like the LED storage and charging case – prove convenience as the key element here.

What I Liked About Arcwave Ion

The first thing I noticed was the smooth, modern exterior and the surprisingly compact design. If looks could kill, this toy would be on trial. But since I stopped having sex based on appearances back in college, the pleasure settings and performance features had to be up to par as well.

So, when I experienced the Pleasure Air function for the first time, I was almost died.

This technology is the same that made the Womanizer famous. It’s strong enough to give women better clitoral stimulation than the best vibrator ever could. Thus, the ArcWave Ion basically delivers a sensation that’s as close to a female orgasm as science currently allows.

If you’re wondering what “pussy power” is all about, you’re gonna learn today.

Here are a few of my (other) favorite things about this miracle machine that gives men insane orgasms:

#1. It targets the tip of my dick, but it doesn’t miss the shaft.

#2. The built-in buttons are cleverly placed for easier control.

#3. It offers contact-free stimulation for cleaner, healthier masturbation.

#4. The intense pleasure settings make it ideal for edging.

#5. It’s fully submersible in water for wet, hot H2O-my-god moments.

As someone who plays with sex toys a lot, I also appreciated the two-piece, easy-clean design. And with my urge to rotate my hand while jerking off, the oblong shape was nice too.

Plus, you can’t beat a squeezable pleasure air sock that’s USB rechargeable and contained within its own carrying case. Or can you?

What I Disliked About Arcwave Ion

Yours truly has been around the block a few times, so I know that all pleasure devices have their flaws. I also know that nothing is ever as silent as the manufacturer says it is.

Having said that, I was a little disappointed in the decibels put out by this device. I was hoping it was quiet because of my living situation, but it’s more like one of those toys you only use when the house is empty.

Aside from that, I could find a few qualms with the charging setup but that’s about it. The portable dock is pretty cool, but the efficiency thereof had me frustrated.

It takes an inconveniently long time to recharge this thing and then it dies out faster than expected. And with all the edging I’ve been doing, I usually can’t afford a pair of blue balls for breakfast.

It’s also fully manual, although it has features that provide a somewhat hands-off experience. It can’t be synced with other devices, it doesn’t fit into a harness, and it won’t hook up to VR.

Thus, the Ion may or may not be ideal for people with mobility limitations, and it’s generally best when used as a foreplay toy instead of a primary source of pleasure.

NOTE: Since it only has an insertable length of 3.5 inches, this otherwise mighty male stroker may not be appropriate for all penis sizes either.

The Naked ArcWave Ion

They say first impressions last a lifetime, so I know I won’t forget about this device for a while. After all, it showed me something completely new about my body, providing a never-before-experienced sensation that must have been closer than I realized to a clitoral climax.

I mean, now I understand why some women seem possessed when they’re squirting. I regret nothing.

The ArcWave Ion Pleasure Air Smart Silence Stroker looks good too, but does it look good naked? Here’s a snapshot of what comes in the box for your consideration:

• The stroking device
• A USB charging cord
• The LED charging/drying dock
• A set of instructions

Unlike some sex toys for men, you don’t receive any lube samples or device cleaner with the device.

However, the Smart Clean feature and waterproof silicone exterior means cleanup equals a quick rinse under water. For more detailed maintenance instructions, I suggest reading the manual.

How I Made It Feel Better

Much to my chagrin, there wasn’t much I could do to make this device feel better than it already did. I was hoping to get kinky and creative with my partner. But what happened instead was that I ended up fucking myself into another dimension.

Here’s what I learned about using the ArcWave Ion Pleasure Air Stoker after I got back to the future:

#1. Keep it clean as a whistle.

With this device, it’s all about efficiency and free flowing air pressure. That’s why dust and environmental debris are so detrimental to its functionality. So, maintain a strong wind in the canal by keeping the interior and exterior clean.

In other words, wash it and dry it before and after each use.

TIP: Use a non-abrasive, hypoallergenic sex toy cleaner for the best results.

#2. Use an enhanced lubricant.

Lubes with heating, cooling, or tingling ingredients make surface pleasure more fun and spontaneous. Slap something special on your lap prior to the poke and it’s curtains on your endurance.

This is an especially handy trick when using devices that aren’t temperature responsive.

TIP: Try dunking your ArcWave Ion in hot water for a quick blast of realistic warmth.

#3. Charge it long and often.

Since the Arc only offers 65 minutes to playtime before it needs charged again, it makes sense to keep it close to the charging dock. And since the targeted air currents are so strong, you should near climax long before that.

So, juice up the battery between sessions to keep your device ready.

TIP: Check your outlet to ensure a strong electrical current for maximum power.

#4. Say nay to Smart Silence sometimes.

That SS technology is nice and all, but it’s not always needed. At certain points, it can even get a little annoying. The feature functions a lot like an automatic on/off switch, yet the sensors can be slightly touchy.

So, I turn off the setting every now and then and just let my roommates talk shit.

TIP: Let the TV or radio play in the background to drown out the sound of this boisterous toy.

#5. Pair it with a penis ring.

Because the ArcWave Ion pinpoints the frenulum, I think it’s a genius idea to pair it with a tight cock ring or ball loop (maybe even one that vibrates). Both of those accessories enhance penile sensitivity and send blood flow to all the right places.

So, stay calm and create a combo.

TIP: Try using other toys too, like butt plugs, prostate massages, and anal beads.

For an even more intense experience, hand the device over to your partner after blindfolding yourself. Then, sit back as they tease and please your body in ways you could never imagine.

Sweeten the pot with some oral sex and you’ll emerge a different man. Trust me.

Special Considerations

I don’t think the ArcWave Ion is designed for stroker, per say. To me, it seems more like a stationary weapon against desensitized penile nerve endings and mundane masturbation instead.

Don’t get me wrong; you can’t still use for stroking the penis. It’s just that maybe we’d all have a better time if we let the machine do all the work.

FUN FACT: I like to prop mine in between a couple of pillows and then thrust my way into nirvana.

My Final Verdict

As such a simple and elegant sex toy, the ArcWave Ion Pleasure Air Smart Silence Male Masturbator blows most of the competition out of the water – and I mean that literally.

It’s not only equipped with state-of-the-art pleasure air technology instead of old-fashioned vibrations, but it also delivers a sensation that’s as close to a female orgasm as any male can get.

And thanks to the compact design, the toy goes anywhere without causing a stir. So, while it may be somewhat loud like a good lover should be, it’s also sheathed inside a sleek, masculine-looking case that pulls triple duty.

This fast and efficient device is easy to use, effortless to clean, and impossible not to love if you have a penis. Even the drawbacks are manageable, which means I probably won’t be putting mine back into storage until it’s time to charge it again – nosey roommates be damned.

It’s almost like navigating the dating pool, only there aren’t as many desperate women vying for your attention through trickery and manipulation. The good part about hunting down the right masturbation toy is your ability to make it as simple or complicated as you want.

Back in the day, men had far fewer options in terms of the sex toys they could use. Our ancestors were forced to stick their dicks into some pretty questionable items, from hollowed-out garden vegetables to scraped out animal membranes and just about everything in between.

These days, however, our options are a lot better and the subsequent orgasms are as well. Thanks to innovations by creative, in-tune manufacturers with their fingers on the pulse of modern-day men, the magical market of synthetic vaginas is finally booming. You better get it while it’s hot.

What Is a Fake Pussy?

Synthetic pussies: What are they and why should you run out and buy one? Well, the first step in finding anything in the world is knowing exactly what you’re looking for. It’s difficult for a marketing team to trick or deceive a consumer who is well-informed, even if all the stops are pulled out and clever advertisements or freebies are thrown in your general direction.

Although it sounds like an oxymoron, real fake vaginas are out there and they’re waiting on you to stick your dick in them as soon as you understand the basics.

According to the most official definition, these kinds of toys go by several different names depending on who you ask, with nomenclatures including but not always limited to the following:

• Fake vaginas
• Synthetic pussies
• Counterfeit coochies
• Phony ponies
• Mock muffs
• Artificial asses

Yes, most fake pussies have an ass as well as a vagina, but that’s not always the case and it’s important for you to realize and understand that. In fact, the features on the average synthetic vagina varies so widely that it’s almost impossible to describe every possibility.

Generally speaking, however, these kinds of specialized masturbation toys are designed to simulate the sensations of real penetration through various, pre-determined means, components and materials.

The Most Common Features Of Fake Pussies

Although the finer details of each fake vagina model will vary greatly between makers and suppliers, there are a few features that all synthetic pussies must possess to make them worthy of inclusion in such a prestigious and beloved category.

In other words, any sex toy that doesn’t have a few specific components can’t necessarily be considered a mock muff and it’s probably not the kind of product you’re looking for anyway.

Here are the top five (5) most common things that all well-rounded counterfeit coohies should have:

1. A Texturized Canal

Anyone can flog their dolphin with a set of bare hands but grown-ass men like to do it with a high-end sex toy like a fake vagina, handheld or otherwise. The most appealing part about those products is the internal texturization within the masturbation canal – a feature that produces realistic sensations that are far better than anything your palm could ever deliver.

Look for a canal that features a specialized texture, either for enhanced realism, improved stamina and endurance or both. Remember, you don’t have to settle for less than the best anymore.

TIP: Some sex toys are created with extremely potent textures, and some of their manufacturers have even started molding specialty canals to mimic the internal curves of the world’s most popular porn stars.

2. Dual Masturbation Chambers

One is the loneliest number, which is why so many synthetic vag makers craft their toys to employ dual masturbation chambers – one that resembles a pussy and another that resembles an ass. This feature not only increases the product’s versatility but it also makes experimentation easier and more affordable.

Look for a fake pussy that offers at least one soft, inviting and highly texturized masturbation chamber if you want to enjoy a wide variety of sexual experiences including vaginal penetration, anal stimulation and maybe even a little titty-fucking.

TIP: Some of the best fake pussies on the market only have one masturbation canal, but their texturized sleeves are typically interchangeable which makes them just as versatile as the dual-chambered models.

3. Some Realistic Detailing

When masturbating with a mock muff, it’s not always about the canal texture and sensations. Sometimes, it’s about the visuals as well. And when it comes to creating the most satisfying experience possible, good looking sex toys are a must-have.

Good fake pussies will always feature realistic detailing such as labial folds and skin wrinkles, but the best options usually have a little more to offer in the way of realism: synthetic pubic hair, perky tits with nipples or expertly replicated orifices, for example.

TIP: Certain brands offers male masturbators and high-end fake vaginas or asses that feature the exact same nooks, crannies and wrinkles as a specific adult performer and/or partner.

4. Lifelike Material Make-up

It’s one thing for a fake pussy to look like the real thing and feature exciting textures within the masturbation chamber(s), but it’s another for that same sex toy to have skin-like properties that give the user an even better experience. So far, the market has witnessed the invention of several patented materials that resemble the look and feel of a real human membrane.

Good synthetic crotches will always use those materials to complete the pussy package, but be sure to keep your eyes, ears and mind open for new innovations.

TIP: Some materials may require extra maintenance to keep them looking and feeling as intended by the manufacturer. Be sure to read the care instructions for each toy you’re considering just to be safe.

5. Skin-Safe Construction

Whether good looking, perfectly molded, hyper-realistic or not, the most important thing is that nobody suffers an allergic reaction to the materials with which a sex toy is made. Stick with high-end, hypoallergenic materials such as silicone, thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), polyvinyl chloride (PVC) or a patented polycarbonate blend just to be safe.

The material make-up should be listed on the product’s label and if not, read a review, contact the manufacturer or visit manufacturer’s website for more information.

TIP: A handful of modern-day sex toy manufacturers still use potentially harmful materials such as latex, phthalates and parabens in their products, so buyer beware.

Special Artificial Vagina’s Features Worth Hunting For

Please note that not all male masturbation toys and/or fake pussies are made the same, thus their features and the combinations thereof will vary greatly between devices. With that said, it’s important to also understand how a specific model can be void of certain features mentioned above but still be classified as a well-made synthetic vag.

On top of that, you’ve got to brace yourself for some of the exciting innovations that have come out of the sex toy industry over the last few years because they’ve changed the game in more ways than one.

Here are the top three (3) most unique features that shoppers might find when looking for a new mock muff on today’s market:

1. Compatibility with Other Devices

If you shop savvy, you can buy a handheld fake pussy that’s compatible with high-tech machines which are designed to turn manual stimulation into automatic masturbation through the use of ergonomic, industry-leading features such as Bluetooth, virtual reality and online video streaming services.

2. Celebrity Endorsements

With certain models, a well-known adult entertainment star has endorsed the materials, the textures and the overall design of the toy itself, with some devices even featuring a raised insignia from the starlet as an added aesthetic bonus.

3. Integrated Pleasure Enhancements

There are a handful of fake pussy products out there that have bonus features like integrated vibrating motors, internal heating elements and twerking mechanisms to increase the user’s pleasure. Those components tend to drive up the price of the toy, but the versatility they offer usually absorbs the cost differential quickly.

Supplies and Skills Required

When you enter the wild and wonderful world of counterfeit coochies you start to realize just how far some manufacturers have gone to help their customers create a superior experience. However, those enhanced sex sessions often require more than meets the eye. And while you don’t have to be a masturbation expert to enjoy a high-end synthetic twat, there are still some basic pieces of equipment and rudimentary skills you must possess to get the most bang for your buck.

Depending on the type of toy you settle on, these are the five (5) most common things you’ll want to have or gather ahead of time (NOTE – Some of these items are included with the device if you buy them from the right manufacturer and/or supplier):

• Batteries – Check the specs on each device to ensure you grab the right kind, especially if your pussy features vibrations, simulated body heat or is compatible with high-tech automatic machines. Also, be aware that most modern-day male masturbation units are fully rechargeable via a standard USB cable.
• Personal Lubrication – Never attempt masturbation with a fake pussy of any kind without some type of lubrication on the toy and/or your penis. Even realistic materials can cause chaffing if you’re not careful. Also, be sure to choose a lube type that’s compatible with the toy’s materials
• Toy Cleaning Supplies – The best way to keep your synthetic vaginas in top working order is to thoroughly cleanse them after every use. Some devices are harder to maintain than others, but you still need to invest in cleaning supplies lest you sustain an injury or cause unnecessary skin rashes due to bacteria build-up.
• Internet or Mobile Data Connections – If you plan to use your new plaything alongside your favorite porn or a video from an online XXX content library, you’ll need a reliable and secure internet connection and/or a mobile data plan to access it.
• Virtual Reality Gear – Fake pussies that either feature interactive components or can link up with high-tech devices often require VR goggles that are sold separately. And while this piece of equipment isn’t always needed, it’s a great thing to have lying around just in case you want to spice things up a bit.

The Top 5 Best Fake Pussies In 2021:

The market seems to be always introducing new products to the everyday consumer, with less of a stigma and taboo placed on male sex toys than ever before in the history of mankind. Thankfully, a few devices have separated themselves from the flock by being exceptional in numerous ways. Here are today’s top five (5) best fake pussies (in no particular order):

#1 The Fleshlight STU

IDEAL PURPOSE: PERFORMANCE ENHANCEMENT

The Fleshlight brand is known for its massive inventory of high-grade male masturbation devices, and their Stamina Training Unit (STU) is no exception. It features the same recognizable yet discreet size and shape of a standard masturbator but it’s got one major difference: the canal has a specialized texture that makes orgasm control virtually impossible.

The toy uses the brand’s patented SuperSkin material for added realism and it comes with a free water-based lube sample to get you started.

PROS

1. 1. • • Extreme canal texturization for improved endurance
        • Lightweight design for easier pumping
        • Compatible with the high-tech automatic Launch device
        • Interchangeable sleeves
        • Ergonomic dimensions
        • Fully submersible in water
        • Made from skin-safe materials

CONS

1. 1. • • May not accommodate all penis sizes
        • Could be too intense for casual users

#2 The Fleshlight Destroya

IDEAL PURPOSE: FANTASY FULFILLMENT

Much like the standard Fleshlight fake pussies in the brand’s enormous lineup, the Destroya is an exclusive model belonging to an even more specialized collection called the Fleshlight Girls. Its superb canal is tight and texturized in a way that’s identical to the internal dimensions of the famous porn star, Stoya.

It features the same great ergonomics as the standard models and uses the exact SuperSkin material that’s become an icon in the sex toy industry. Best of all, consumers can choose between a pussy, mouth or ass orifice and the entire device is compatible with the brand’s high-tech Launch machine as well.

PROS

1. 1. • • Collector’s item
        • Lightweight design for easier pumping
        • Enhances Stoya’s 3D porn content
        • Interchangeable sleeves
        • Ergonomic dimensions
        • Fully submersible in water
        • Made from skin-safe materials

CONS

1. 1. • • May not accommodate all penis sizes
        • Requires extra equipment for a well-rounded experience

#3 The THRUST Pro Elite Alana Ribbed Vagina and Ass Masturbator

Alana is a sexy little number with a full-scale vaginal opening and a tight butthole to match. With a rounded rear-end and two distinct ribbed canals to explore, this fake pussy offers twice the excitement and three-times the fun.

She offers a generous 7.5-inch insertable length in the twat and 5.5 inches of depth in the anus, plus she can be dressed up according to your kinkiest size 6-8 fantasies. Made from hypoallergenic TPE and weighty enough to suffice a session of hot and heavy sex, the THRUST Pro Elite is ideal for men of all experience levels and can be positioned for optimal pleasure as well.

PROS

1. 1. • • Dual masturbation canals
        • Sized to scale for increased realism
        • Ideal for hands-free use
        • Realistic skin-like covering
        • Can be put into various pieces of lingerie
        • Fully submersible in water
        • Made from skin-safe materials

CONS

1. 1. • • May be too large to hide discreetly
        • Genital detailing not as accurate as some fake vagina/asses

#4 The CyberSkin Realistic Vibrating Perfect Ass

IDEAL PURPOSE: SENSATION EXPLORATION

The CyberSkin Realistic Vibrating Perfect Ass is exactly what it sounds like – an expertly crafted synthetic pussy and butt with the power to vibrate your dick through a series of hefty pounding positions due to its ultra-lifelike materials and heavy-weight design. It features dual canals, dual vibrating bullets for each one, and dual butt cheeks for hours of squeezing.

And with a generous 7-inch insertable length in the vagina as well as an 8-inch clearance in the anus, the multi-speed vibrations pulsating through the humanistic CyberSkin covering is enough to drive a man wild.

PROS

1. 1. • • Dual masturbation canals
        • Vibrating bullets removeable
        • Flat, tilting base for optimal positioning
        • Accommodates nearly all penis sizes
        • Feels good with or without the vibrations
        • Fully submersible in water
        • Made from skin-safe materials

CONS

• • • May not be suitable for beginners
    • Requires 2 x AA batteries for the vibrations (not included)

1. #5 The Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2: Pussy, &Tits

   IDEAL PURPOSE: THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE

   ---

   The Pipedream brand is known for its huge selection of realistic love dolls and fake vagina/ass combo toys. Their Fuck Me Silly 2 is just another of their impressive pleasure products, with two distinct masturbation canals and a set of perky tits that are worthy of worship.

2. It features supreme body detailing, offers 8 full inches of insertable length in both holes and even comes with a free sample of toy cleaner and water-based masturbation lube to get you going.

PROS

• • Dual masturbation canals
  • Extremely detailed genitalia and body features
  • Set of large, jiggly breasts for enhanced play
  • Can accommodate nearly all penis sizes
  • Waterproof for cleaning and warming
  • Made from skin-safe materials

CONS

• • May be too large to store discreetly

1. The Big Picture

   It’s not always easy finding the best synthetic pussies, fake vaginas and mock muffs on the market, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Understand exactly what you’re looking for, make a list of the features you desire the most, and compare components like a pro without paying too much attention to price and/or brand affiliation (as long as that’s not a deal breaker on certain features and compatibilities).

2. Stay away from certain materials, expect the unexpected and always practice good hygiene to ensure you new toy’s maximum longevity. And last but never least, ignore peer pressure because it’s your dick and your orgasm, not anyone else’s.
   

   Fake Pussy FAQ

   Q: How am I supposed to hide something this big from the guests and roommates in my house?

   A: As a general rule, never buy a full-sized synthetic pussy unless you’re absolutely sure you have enough space to hide it properly. Most of these things don’t come with a storage container and some of them are pretty big. To make things easier, pick a spot that’s typically used for storing spare and infrequently used items: under the bed, in the closet, etc.

   Q: How do I know which material will feel the best?

   A: Unfortunately, sex toy material selection is completely subjective. You really won’t know which material feels the best until you try a few of them out on yourself or a partner.

3. However, there are always comparative descriptions to rely on and most high-end fake pussy manufacturers have developed their own unique material blends that became famous for looking, feeling and performing like real human skin.

Q: How do I take care of my new plaything properly?

A: Care and maintenance instructions will vary depending on the mock muff you buy, but there are some general rules you should always follow to ensure maximum safety and satisfaction. For one, wash your toy after each and every use even if you don’t ejaculate into it. For two, only use gentle, non-abrasive soaps and hypoallergenic cleansers that have been pre-approved by the toy’s maker.

1. Lastly, try not to leave any standing water inside the masturbation chamber as this could cause a build-up of dirt, debris and bacteria. In many cases, you won’t get a storage container with your purchase of a fake vagina. Because of that, maintenance also involves proper packing and stowing of the device at all times. Never place your toy in an area that’s exposed to moisture and keep it away from extreme hot or cold temperatures. Also, try not to use lubes that aren’t compatible with the toy’s main material(s).

Q: What’s the difference between a fake pussy and a pocket pussy?

A: In general, a pocket pussy is simply a flimsy piece of texturized material that can be used to enhance a hand job. Some of the higher-end ones feature lifelike detailing and vaginally inspired orifices, but they’re not the same as your standard fake pussy.

1. FPs are far more sophisticated, with better materials, more intense canal textures, enhanced detailing, and sturdier construction on average. They tend to last quite a bit longer as well, especially if they’re cared for properly.

Q: Are these toys appropriate for all penis sizes or do I need to take some measurements first?

A: To stay on the safe side, know what your penis’s dimensions are when it’s fully erect to make sure the toy you choose can accommodate your main member comfortably. Because these products can vary widely in size and shape, it’s important to know two things before spending any money: Your body type and the insertable length of the masturbation chamber. As a good rule of thumb, allow an extra half inch for error, growth and excitement.

Q: Can I use one of these things if I have erectile dysfunction or Peyronie’s Disease?

A: Yes, you can masturbate with a mock muff if you have erectile dysfunction (ED) or Peyronie’s Disease (PD), or curvature of the penis. In fact, these toys are especially useful to men with those conditions because they can reach a satisfying climax without having to worry about embarrassment, performance anxiety or hurting their partner.

1. However, insertion into fake vaginas may prove difficult for men who can’t get a full erection simply because of the general tightness of the orifice and canal. Ask your doctor for recommendations or choose an open-ended/hinged masturbation tool instead.

Q: Can I use a condom with a fake vagina to make cleanup and maintenance easier?

1. A: Cleanup is usually very easy when it comes to counterfeit coochies, but some men want to keep things as pristine as possible despite using their toy quite frequently. One way to pull that off is to use a condom, but condoms aren’t comfortable or compatible with all models. Check the materials of both to make sure they won’t react negatively with one another.
2. Also, determine how tight the canal is and be sure you’ll have enough room for an up and down jerking motion. And now matter what you do, never leave an expended condom lodged into the canal after use, even if you didn’t cum into it. Such oversights can cause serious problems with the overall integrity of the device.

Q: Will masturbating with a synthetic snatch make me better at sex?

A: Improvements to your sex life and/or stamina are based mainly on how you use the device. While some models are made specifically to increase the user’s sexual endurance, most synthetic vaginas can be used for the same purposes if they’re enjoyed often enough.

1. Research shows that men who frequently masturbate and/or reach orgasm with a sex toy experience higher libido levels and more satisfying climaxes. However, masturbating too much can have the opposite effect. Talk to your doctor if you’re dealing with ED or other sexual performance problems because your lack of skill may not be due to your lack of equipment entirely.

Is it just me or is getting a proper blowjob like winning the lottery these days? Nobody wants to slob on my knob unless I pay them or buy them dinner first, and I just don’t have that kind of dough. I’d much rather spend my hard-earned money on a sex toy that does the job for me without requiring special attention beforehand. That’s why I’m always on the lookout for the next best thing in oral simulation.

I’ve gotten quite a few of my favorite devices off of the Lovehoney website, as their inventory is stocked with shit from almost every brand imaginable. Their own lineup is pretty impressive, too. For example, the Lovehoney Hot Shot male masturbator seems to do pretty well on the market. That handheld self-pleasure toy supposedly mimics the sensations of a good BJ in a remarkably realistic way. Or, at least that’s what the manufacturer says. I put it to the test and this is what I experienced.

The Concept Of Lovehoney Hot Shot Heating Masturbator

Hot Shot developers were obviously not trying to create another full-sized male masturbation device that stimulates the entire shaft of the penis. Their innovative approach to manual orgasm can be seen immediately in the unique design of this toy. It’s made to pleasure the glans and frenulum only using a variety of life-like, user-friendly features and industry-standard manufacturing elements such as skin-safe materials and ergonomic button positioning.

The Features Of The Hot Shot

It’s certainly not the fanciest thing I’ve ever seen and it’s probably not appropriate for all penis sizes, but the Hot Shot is a very well-rounded product otherwise and it has all the features you’d want in a handheld oral sex simulation device. For instance, it offers an incredibly deep 3-inch insertable length (ideal for deep throat sensations) and it has a comfortable canal diameter of an inch and a half (AKA: no scraping). The LHS also plays out six different vibration patterns through its integrated motor and each of those patterns can be enjoyed at three different intensity levels.

But that’s not even the best part. As it turns out, the Hot Shot is a warming device as well, meaning it can heat up to 104°F to mimic the hot breath of a horny partner. So essentially, this toy is made to provide the shallow glans and frenulum stimulation or typical oral sex plus the warming sensation of a real human mouth – both of which are indicative of a good blowjob. That’s a pretty innovative design if you ask me, making this toy a probable favorite during solo missions.

The entire thing is carefully crafted out of skin-safe silicone with no latex or phthalates whatsoever – great news for anyone who has allergies or sensitivities. Compatible with all water-based lubes, this bad boy is splash-proof as well, so clean-up should be a breeze. It’s completely USB rechargeable too and even features a travel lock to give us all a little peace of mind while we’re on the go. Not a bad little combo package there; let’s see how it performs.

The Experience

I’ll start out by saying that I’ve had my fair share of experience with so-called “oral sex simulators” and some of them make me feel sad inside. But although the Hot Shot didn’t have the canal texturization I was looking for it still generated a decent orgasm out of my otherwise depressed dick. My favorite feature was probably the warming sensation. There’s just nothing quite like sticking your cock into a pre-warmed sex toy. Honestly, I wish they all came with that function.

I really liked the fact that this thing was able to multi-task so well. The warmth and vibrations came online at about the same time and everything kicked into gear pretty quickly, so I didn’t have to wait around for the heating element to start working or anything. My fully charged battery (which took about an hour a half) gave me about an hour of play time on top speed with the heater on. That’s almost better mileage than my car, but I digress. The point is that the clever design shines through the otherwise unimpressive initial appearance of this toy.

And while it may not be the prettiest sex toy in the world, it’s most certainly one of the softest. Apparently, the designers took special care to make the silicone material as mouth-like as possible. It almost feels wet against the skin, which only feels that much more realistic when you slather some water-based lube on it. The contraption itself protects your grip from slipping, with easy-grip exterior ergonomics and a built-in push-button control layout.

As for the travel lock option, that’s not really necessary for a guy who doesn’t leave his house very much. It’s kind of handy every now and then though, especially since this toy is somewhat loud when it’s on full power. I took it with me on vacation once and it got a lot of attention from TSA, but other than that it’s cool. I could have traded the travel lock feature for something a little more innovative or convenient though, like Bluetooth connectivity, partner toy compatibility, or a wider range of vibration functions at the very least. Nothing is perfect, but let’s not settle for second-rate components just so we can make the “Features” list a little longer.

The Contents

Lovehoney is a brand that’s known for hooking their customers up with a bunch of freebies when they purchase a sex toy, but the Hot Shot isn’t one of those products that comes with extras. Not only is it a basic oral sex simulator with few bells and whistles but it’s also packaged as a “What You See Is What You Get (WYSIWYG)” type of toy in a plain, commercial-looking box that only contains the following items:

• The Lovehoney Hot Shot (of course)
• A standard, universal USB charging cable

Don’t expect any small samples of lube or toy cleaner with this one. I was kind of disappointed about that if I’m being frank. This is silicone here, folks! And it’s not waterproof. I’m going to need some products to help me keep it clean and debris-free. Thankfully, the device itself is one of the most affordable on the market, so that extra dough I have to spend on maintenance isn’t such a big deal. The manufacturer doesn’t offer any spare parts or device warranties though, meaning you can enjoy the LHS for as long as the components last (which has been several months in my case).

The Final Verdict

I wasn’t always this picky when it came to my oral sex simulation devices, but things started getting out a hand about a decade ago and I knew something had to be done. Holding these manufacturers accountable for the quality and efficacy of their toys is imperative, so Lovehoney is lucky their Hot Shot toy is a decent device. It’s a great starter toy for manual masturbation newbies because it has all the most basic components, but it’s also somewhat ideal for erotica experts because its functionality cuts right to the chase without delay. Overall, I’d say that the LHS is a smart buy for anyone who wants to bust a nut quickly with the sensations of a good blowjob.

The masters of masturbatory magnificence have done it again, only this time their newest product has men from all over the world questioning their relationship status. The globally celebrated Fleshlight brand is known for its commitment to excellence, and the new Quickshot Launch is no exception. They’ve created a revolutionary male masturbation device that expertly combines convenience and cleanliness with sensational satisfaction.

The famous Fleshlight Launch is an automatic masturbation machine that sold millions of units as soon as it hit the market. The insertable masturbation sleeve from the inventory features a one-of-a-kind texture, is made from a transparent, skin-like material, and features an open-ended design. Together, those components form what’s come to be known as one of the greatest sex toy inventions since the dildo.

Already being a fan of the original Fleshlight Launch device made it somewhat difficult for me to formulate an objective opinion on this new model. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, I always say. However, after reading several reviews and being coaxed into trying the new and improved version, I jumped online and bought FQL as soon as it was released. Here’s what you need to know before spending any money on one.

What Is The Fleshlight Quickshot Launch?

The Quickshot Launch by Fleshlight is an innovative little number that possesses all the qualities you’d want in an automatic masturbation device. Extremely unique in its design, the FQL stands apart from the full-sized Fleshlights typically used in conjunction with the Launch. Not only is it a compact version of the brand’s already amazing product but it also features an exclusive open-ended design that makes maintenance and clean-up a breeze.

This luxury pleasure product is made to simulate oral sex without manual manipulation, but this isn’t the first time the Fleshlight folks have toyed with this idea. The original Fleshlight Launch is still available, but it’s only compatible with their full-sized male masturbator inventory. Meanwhile, the Q-Launch combo is a more compact version that’s helping pent-up men from all over the world reach new orgasmic heights.

Inspired by someone getting a righteous blowjob (not me), this thing is fit to produce sensations that are about as close as you can get to the real thing without laying money on the nightstand. This sensational device is just an inventive combination of the robotic Launch machine and the best-selling Quickshot male masturbation toy. Mr. “I Get Frequent Blowjobs” must have ran out of funds. And that’s another thing: I noticed that the FQL is one of the most affordable high-tech sex toys on the market despite it being the first of its kind.

Locked inside the clear cradle created by designers who obviously appreciate voyeurism, this device uses a series of multi-function controls to produce extreme pleasure sensations to the penis depending on the user’s specific preferences. Easy to use and surprisingly powerful, this inventive machine is the result of a match made in masturbatory heaven. Feature-rich and ready to go after a quick charge, the “café-sized” FQL made my heart go pitter-patter.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE OFFICIAL FLESHLIGHT WEBSITE

The Main Features

This extraordinary feat of modern engineering has all the user-friendly features and body-conscious ergonomics you’d expect from a toy made by such a well-known brand. The Quickshot Launch device by trade giant, Fleshlight, has the following industry-leading features:

• It has 4 variable stoke speed and length settings that are controlled by touch-sensitive pads on either side of the device.
  • Left = Faster or Slower
  • Right = Shorter or Longer
• It can handle up to 250 strokes per minutes.
• It allows you to toggle through 3 available pleasure zones.
  • The Base
  • The Shaft
  • The Tip
• It requires no batteries or electricity because it’s fully rechargeable via a standard USB connection that’s hidden discreetly on the back of the device.
• It has a 60-minute run time with a full charge.
• It can be used wirelessly or while plugged in using the Fleshlight Active Launch Mode.
• It features a universal smartphone mount on the top to help you view your favorite porn content hands-free.
• It measures 14 inches in total length
• It’s made from the Fleshlight brand’s patented SuperSkin material that’s 100% skin-safe and compatible with any water-based lube in your collection
• It has two handlebars (one on either side), with touch-sensitive controls on both to mimic the sensations of “flying” and improve control

What Comes in the Box?

You get the following items in the box with your product:

• The rechargeable device (of course)
• A USB power cable
• A Universal Smartphone Mount
• The Quick-Start Guide
• An Instructional Manual

Unlike most other Fleshlight toys, this one does not come with a free sample of water-based lube, nor does it include a storage container of any kind. Further, the Quickshot Male Masturbator unit is sold separately.

NOTE: You can also upgrade your purchase with the Double Shot, the Vantage or the Boost masturbators. I seriously wish somebody would have told me that before I wrote this review.

How It Feels

Automatic devices always make manual masturbation feel like a disappointing chore. Compared to intercourse, it’s not exactly the same but it’s a close alternative that feels more like a skilled blowjob than standard sex. The bonus is that the device doesn’t talk back like a live partner, nor does it need to achieve an orgasm of its own. And the sleeve’s texture adds even more sensational appeal, for an erotic experience that’s satisfyingly exhausting.

The Cheers and Jeers

I love it when a product makes it hard for me to complain. This thing is one of those products.

PROS

• JUST MY SIZE – It provides a customizable, automatic masturbation experience every time.
• EASY AS PIE – With easy to use touch-sensitive control pads, quick manipulation of the settings is child’s play.
• JUICE IT – This masterpiece is rechargeable using a standard USB cable (which is included).
• VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE – The FQL is available in four distinct packages for even more customization options.
• TOUCH ME THERE – The 3 programmable pleasure zone settings are fun to play with and each provides a unique experience.

CONS

• INCONVENIENT TRUTH – This bad boy could use an adapter since USB charging is sort of a pain in the ass.
• THAT’S ALL, FOLKS – There are no freebies included in the box.

The Final Verdict

Overall, this sex toy is a high-tech device that instantly transformed the male masturbator market upon its inception. Officially classified as an automatic blowjob machine, this miracle of modern machinery turned out to be so much more than that. It’s not hard to see why so many units have been sold thus far, or why they were sold out on the website within days.

As for me, sex lasted only about 3 minutes with my unit on mid-power/speed and I’m known for my sexual stamina. In my opinion, the design itself is spectacular but the durability could use some serious work. Either way, this tech-lover’s toy is an ideal training tool for men who have problems with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction because it provides such intense sensations. With a sleek, sexy, futuristic design, intuitive control panels, customizable pleasure zones and variable stroke speed/length settings, the “QL by FL” (as I’ve lovingly started calling it) has set the bar extremely high for all automatic pleasure machines to come. You can find out more information or buy this product at the official fleshlight website.

If you’re anything like me, you probably feel like you’ve seen just about everything on the sex toy market at this point. As professional penis pricks, we’re all pretty picky about what we bring into the bedroom. That increase in expectation has led many manufacturers to start thinking outside the box.

In a world where most male masturbators are big, bulky squish-holes, it’s rather attention-getting when something different rolls out of the factory – the Fun Factory in this particular case. Their new Manta vibrating stroker is something new entirely, with a revolutionary design and features that will make your toes curl.

What Is The Manta by Fun Factory?

Never before seen on the market, the Manta is marketed as a men’s toy but it’s surprisingly fit for couples. Designed to offer superbly versatile pleasure, this bad boy is not only powerful but it’s also more compact than any other male masturbator in the industry. And while it may have a curious appearance and take some getting used to, it can, when used properly, provide a unique sexual experience for all parties involved.

The Main Features

According to the name, the Manta’s primary feature is the powerful vibrations produced by its industrial-strength motor. However, I think that’s probably the least impressive thing about this toy. In fact, I believe the device’s adaptability to its environment is mind-boggling to say the least.

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What I mean by that is this: you can use the Manta by yourself or with a partner, and in more ways than one. Depending on your desires, this tiny titan can insert itself into the situation in the following ways:

• DURING INTERCOURSE

The Manta fits snugly between you and your lover’s body, turning your dick into a wireless vibrator.

• WHILE GETTING A BLOW JOB

Endure more intense oral orgasms while enjoying a curious deep-throat sensation by incorporating the Manta during a blowjob.

• ALL BY YOUR LONESOME 

Solo play is still okay, especially since the Manta is designed for hands-on stroking and allows for precision stimulation.

The Manta has an extremely user-friendly design too, with a sleek body and an easy-grip handle (although I thought the button placement was a bit off). The top of the toy features a fork-like division of firm yet flexible prongs that are strategically placed to encompass the penis and intensify vibrations. Furthermore, those little ridges on the prongs are ideal for pooling up lube and keeping things running “smoothly.”

TIP: The Manta can be used on your lady-friend as well. That forked prong is perfect for a quick clit massage.

Speaking of intensified vibrations, this toy offers six different function speeds and six distinct vibration patterns via its pre-programmed interface that’s controlled by three built-in buttons on the front of the device. It has a travel lock function and the battery which runs it all is fully rechargeable. Made with skin-safe medical-grade silicone and German engineering, the Manta is also waterproof and whisper quiet.

Here is a list of the secondary features I think are worth mentioning:

• A charge indicator light
• A total length of 7.1 inches (18 cm)
• A total width of 2 inches (5.2 cm)
• A long battery life (about 120 minutes per charge)
• Two colors to choose from:
  • Deep Sea Blue (that’s the one I have and it’s super sexy)
  • Moss Green (reminds me of hunting gear and kind of looks like it too)

With a discreet, user-guided wand-style design, masturbators can target their sweet spot while enjoying the view. Think of it as a tuning fork for your family jewels. In some cases, it’s certainly a better choice than using a hyped up fifi.

What Comes in the Box?

For such an interesting sex toy, the box it comes in is boring as shit. On the bright side, the innocuous picture on the front lends itself to the whole “hunting gear/power tool” thing, so very few people will ever find out how much of a disgusting pervert you are. Inside the box you’ll find the following items:

• The Fun Factory Manta Vibrating Stroker (of course)
• An instruction manual

This toy gets charged in a revolutionary way as well – no cords or cables required. The battery is attached and integrated into the device itself, using the original Magnetic charger of the brand’s patented Click n’ Charge system to generate its power. This features not only makes the Manta so much more travel-friendly but it also makes care and maintenance super easy.

NOTE: Although the folks at the Fun Factory insist on using their patented TOYFLUID lube only, you won’t get any samples of it in the box. There won’t be any toy cleaner either, just so you know.

How It Feels

As I said in the beginning, the Manta takes some getting used to at first. However, once you’re over the learning curve it can be one of the best sexual experiences you’ve ever had. Don’t tell the boys at the Fun Factory, but I found about a half a dozen new ways to use my Manta and none of them were mentioned in the clever marketing campaign.

With all that said, I don’t suggest using the Manta without plenty of lube. The prongs are so precise and the vibes are so powerful that, without some sort of buffer between the toy and your penis, things can get uncomfortable quickly. And while this toy is built for accuracy and agility, the Manta won’t ever replace our beloved full-fledged fifis because it requires so much meticulous attention to use and doesn’t provide as much of an all-encompassing sensation.

The Cheers and Jeers

Overall, the Manta is a pretty robust little machine. However, I had to learn a few things the hard way. For instance, allowing certain oils or creams to come in contact with the device is a terrible idea. Keep sunscreens, edible oils and lip balm far away from this thing unless wasting money gets you off.

PROS

• Charges Filed – Rechargeable toys are kind of the standard nowadays, right?
• The Dirty Dozen – With 6 different speeds and 6 varied vibration patterns, there are a dozen chances to get it right.
• Penile Precision – This device is designed for exactness and thus can be held under your dick’s corona, along the shaft or pressed against the base for a variety of pleasurable sensations that are manually controlled for pin-point accuracy.
• Fork in the Road – The forked design of the prongs is outstanding. In fact, this toy would be a worthless piece of shit without it.

CONS

• Late Bloomer – It takes between six and eight hours of continual charge to get the Manta up and running for the first time.
• Tiny Tim – Made to fit between bodies and be easily gripped in the hand, the Manta can be somewhat cumbersome to manipulate in the heat of the moment.

WHERE TO BUY THE MANTA ONLINE:

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The Final Verdict

In general, I can see why someone would want the Manta in their sex toy suitcase. Still, I can also see how it’s not the device for everybody. Depending on your preferences and situation, however, Fun Factory’s Manta might possibly be your cherry on top. Priced just right and made with high standards and skill, this toy is definitely one worth considering.

I like a classic masturbator as much as the next guy, but there’s just something about a super high-tech device that really gets my motor running. Nowadays, it seems as though every major sex toy manufacturer is coming out with their own version of the next best thing. However, even in a world full of robotic machines, quality always trumps quantity.

When I was first introduced to the trusty LELO brand back in 1782, their inventory was relatively small, somewhat unimpressive, and not much to talk about. Since then, the brand has made some major adjustments that have catapulted their reputation into the big leagues. Their once embarrassing lineup is now compatible with top dogs’ toys, not to mention the fact that most of LELO’s products are counted among the most high-tech in the industry.

And that leads me to my main point: this F1s Developer’s Kit contraption that the LELO boys just introduced. The name, although quite misleading and mysterious, had me thinking I was about to be propositioned into a perverted pyramid scheme. Thankfully, the futuristic nomenclature is just a clever way to describe what has to be the most revolutionary male sex toy on the market, at least in my experience.

What is the F1s Developer’s Kit Red?

So, what makes the Lelo F1s Developer’s Kit Red such a top-notch tech machine? Well, for one, it’s designed to encourage the nerve endings in our cocks to wake the #^@& up. How does some 360-degree stimulation sound? Oh, and it’s called a “Developer’s Kit” for a very good reason: this thing let’s us customize our meat-beating with more precision than anything else I’ve ever seen.

Once you get the toy (I feel like it’s not even fair to call it that), you’ll gain immediate access to an exclusive interface that allows you to tinker with sophisticated sensors and other “techie” settings to personally script a sexy session. The Software Developer’s Kit is completely free to use, definitely worth your time, and works independently from the already mind-blowing preprogrammed settings of the machine itself.

In fact, the primary reason for this device’s instant success has nothing to do with the software development kit. Yes, it may technically be considered “the world’s first SDK sextech platform,” but that doesn’t seem to matter (probably because most people don’t know what the hell that is). As it turns out, the toy’s hyper-innovative, statistic-worshiping features are what make it so popular. I did a thorough investigation of the F1s DK because, quite frankly, I’ve been burnt before. To my chagrin, I had very little to complain about.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE OFFICIAL LELO’S WEBSITE

The Main Features

The mighty manufacturers, a.k.a. the majestic wizards down at the LELO factory, claimed to have bridged some invisible gap between nature and science with their new smart toy, the F1s. In other words, they’re saying the device makes downloadable porn and VR goggles seem incomplete. I mean, imagine a world where you could manipulate the settings of your favorite sex toy down to the finest detail before strapping on some virtual reality glasses and cranking one out in a real-time 3D fuckfest with your favorite porn star. These are the best days of our lives, boys. The future is now.

Anyway, aside from gaps and fantasies there are a few more important matters at hand – the main features of the Lelo F1s Developer’s Kit Red, for instance. Although I’d agree that the Developer Software is a majorly awesome feature (it even lets you track your progress using internal sensors for crying out loud), I haven’t even made it to the good parts yet. Check this stuff out:

• It uses dual internal motors to produce a series of intense sensations within the chamber by way of sonic waves (their patented SenSonic technology). Like, for real, you’re seriously jerking off to sound with this thing.
• It has 10 highly sensitive performance sensors, which is just a fancy way of saying it reads your body’s cues better than your best lover. It’s also a great way of saying it automatically monitors, controls and manages the rhythm, but whatever.
• It’s got these curved grooves that run along the inside of the sleeve – for heightened pleasure during masturbation obviously.
• It can be set to automatic by switching on the Cruise Control feature.
• Its built-in 3-button intensity level controls are mad easy to reach and manipulate, making this toy an ideal product for my brothers with mobility issues (or an obsession with whacking off one-handed).
• It features a clear window panel in the otherwise solid casing, adding a little spice for all you voyeurs out there.
• It’s made from a premium grade textured aluminum alloy and ABS material (body) and medical-grade silicone (sleeve).
• It comes with a free app that works with other F1s toys (and most other LELO brand toys for that matter). Plus, it’s compatible with both Android and iOS, allowing every owner to access LELO SDK (the program that let’s you finagle with the app).
• It’s Bluetooth ready.
• It’s rechargeable using a standard USB cable, and a fully juiced up battery will usually give you between 2 and 2.5 hours of playtime.
• It’s completely waterproof. Can you believe that shit?
• It’s also a machine that combines classic pleasure with updated fun: conventional vibes meet sonic waves. One tickles the surface while the other permeates the shaft to deliver a spine-tingling sensation in all directions.
• It’s a super masculine-looking matte black color with sexy red accents. To be quite honest, it doesn’t look like a male masturbator at all.
• It’s nice and compact, which is sort of surprising considering everything that’s packed inside the protective casing.
  • • It measures about 5.5 inches (143mm) in total length.
    • It measures about 2.8 inches in circumference (Note: the insertion diameter is a lot smaller).
    • It has an insertable length of just under 4.5 inches (which may be its most glaring drawback).
• It weighs less than a pound though, so at least you won’t develop Popeye Arm during this whole ordeal. 

With a resume like that, it’s not hard to see why the LELO brand is so quickly rising in the ranks around here. But, it takes more than a couple high-tech features and an ergonomic design to get me excited. Luckily for these guys, I just so happen to like the way they put it all together.

What Comes in the Box?

On the other hand, the packaging for LELO’s F1s Developer’s Kit Red is . . . how do I put this nicely . . . disappointingly lame. However, I guess since buyers get so many goodies inside the box the manufacturer decided not to make the container anything special. Mission accomplished, guys.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, you get the following items for a price tag that’s, to be fair, rather comparable to the other high-tech sex gadgets out there:

• The LELO F1s Red SenSonic Trainer (of course)
• A small bottle of toy cleaning spray
• A USB charging cable
• A starter guide
• A set of full user instructions and warnings (plus a downloadable PDF manual)
• A nifty “Do Not Disturb” sign
• A pair of fingerless patent-leather gloves
• A soft, satin drawstring storage pouch
• A manufacturer’s warranty registration card 

Notice how you don’t get any lubricant samples? Yeah, me too. So, out of straight-up rebellion, I tried using this thing without a proper lube job. Big mistake. My advice: stop complaining about the things you don’t have and start appreciating the fact that you need to buy an industrial-sized tub of lubrication now that you own the baddest toy on Earth.

How It Feels

Usually, I have a myriad of flagrant words to throw around when describing how a specific sex toy feels. In this case, however, it’s difficult to find a base of comparison. The 360-degree sonic waves are so engulfing, so smooth and flawless that it’s made me resent everybody who attempts a blowjob on my now spoiled rotten dick.

The fact that I’ve been able to tamper with the app itself to develop my own settings and routine is downright criminal. Those silky ridges throughout the supple canal, the ultra-precise sensors, the Cruise Control, and that fucking peeper window – an amalgamation of features that will (most likely) soon become the standard by which all other sex toy manufacturers measure themselves.

This high-tech piece of mechanized art operates with such precision and control that it warrants the question: Does the F1s have a soul? It packs such a delicious punch to the penis that I’m struggling to find the words. Put simply, it is an anatomically-acquainted piece of aluminum and silicone that makes you second guess your current relationship status.

The Cheers and Jeers

I know, I know. It’s a lot of hype about an expensive luxury, especially coming from someone who’s made a profession out of handing sex toy manufacturers their asses. What can I say, though? I’m genuinely impressed by the sheer effort that was put into creating this device. It’s sleek, it’s sexy and it’s scientifically proven to generate some major movement downstairs, if you know what I’m sayin’.

Still, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t have at least a handful of things to bitch about in regard to the LELO F1s Developer’s Kit. But since that list is relatively short, let’s talk about the many positives first.

PROS

• Rain on Me – The Lelo F1s is 100% waterproof, so you can bring it with you to the rainforest without worrying about predators.
• Heavy Duty – The device is super durable despite being exceptionally lightweight and easy to maneuver.
• The Price Is Right – For such a high-performance machine, this thing is surprisingly inexpensive by comparison.
• Slip and Slide – I, for one, was shocked to find out that the high-tech F1s is 100% waterproof. You don’t see that kind of shit every day.
• Lights, Camera, Action – The F1s uses a simple lithium ion battery (already installed) and it’s fully rechargeable.
• That DK Though – An already amazing sex toy that lets you personally tinker with its programming for a super customizable experience? Yes, please.
• Window Shopping – That see-through window on the side of the chamber is a nice touch, especially since I’m my dick’s number one fan.
• Circle Jerk – This bad boy offers 360-degree pleasure via the 10 sensors running up and down the canal.
• 1-2 Punch – The combination of traditional vibrations and sonic waves is an incredible and entirely innovative experience.
• Keeping Up with the Joneses – The F1s wouldn’t technically be considered “high-tech” if it wasn’t Bluetooth compatible, would it? I didn’t think so.
• There’s an App for That – Get out your smart phone, boys. It’s time to pretend we’re software developers so we can masturbate better. Our mothers would be proud. 
• Look Ma, No Hands – You can use the F1s manually or switch on the Cruise Control option for hands-free play.

CONS

• Stubbed and Snubbed – Because the F1s DK offers only 4.5 inches in insertable length, it may not be ideal for longer dicks. Sorry, guys.
• Long and Strong – The rechargeable battery may be powerful and last for a while, but it takes 2 or more hours to fully charge and the USB cable is kind of short.

WHERE TO BUY LELO’S F1s DEVELOPER’S KIT ONLINE:

LELO’S OFFICIAL WEBSITE

CLICK THE BUTTON TO REVEAL A SPECIAL 10% LELO’S F1s DEVELOPER’S KIT DISCOUNT CODE:

[jcorgcrcoupon slug=’MensToysHubSpecialDiscountCodeF1sDevelopersKitbyLELO’ id=’40’]

The Final Verdict

Overall, I think the boys down in the LELO Toy Development department did a pretty good job of creating a masculine-looking male sex toy that’s both familiar and surprisingly innovative. It may have features we all know and love but it certainly has a few I’ve never heard about. The seamless marriage of those features is impressive to say the least. Let the record show that I only had two negative things to say about this one.

I try to remain objective but it’s difficult with the F1s DK because it’s so bad ass. The price isn’t too shabby, the user interface is on point, and the maker’s palpable dedication to customization is otherworldly, especially at this stage in the game. Although LELO hasn’t always been known for pushing the envelope of design or innovation, perhaps the tides are finally turning. It will be interesting to see what they come up with next. You can find more information or buy F1s Developer’s Kit at the official Lelo’s website.

It’s a rough world out there, guys, so you may have to consider using a torso instead.

If you’re gonna go that route, then you may want to do some homework before laying your money on the table for some cheap piece of shit. Junk is all over the place, can we all just admit that, and it’s even in the inventories of the best-known brands on the planet. Pipedream just so happens to be one of those brands with a less than perfect repertoire, but their Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2 may be an exception.

What’s the Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2 Mega Masturbator?

Basically, the Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2 is a headless, armless, legless sex doll with dual canals – a pussy and an ass. However, it’s not your typical doll because it’s designed to give you a full-body experience despite its missing body parts. More like a highly detailed and textured torso, the Fuck Me Silly 2 is a remake of the original and it has a ton of new and improved features that I think most men will appreciate greatly.

For example, this thing makes it easy to have realistic sex while enjoying all the visuals that make it so much fun. Perfect for voyeurs with a fantasy to fulfill, the Fuck Me Silly 2 brings all the necessary components together for a decent orgasm that doesn’t depend on partners or battery power. One of the good things about sex dolls like this is that you can use them to your heart’s delight without worrying about your time running out. And while it may not offer a mouth orifice for a satisfying BJ, it does have everything else you need to bust a nut like it’s your job.

Put simply, this toy is made to help its users achieve something that’s impossible with a manual cock cranker or a battery-operated blowjob machine. Its design is revolutionary, but only because it avoids the typical trappings of fakeness – no coarse pubic hairs, no static facial expressions, and no two-bit attempt at making it gyrate on your dick. It’s a straightforward sex doll with one thing to give and that’s a rock-solid orgasm no matter how you use it.

CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET

The Main Features

As far as those “new and improved” features go, the Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2 has plenty of them. Certainly a step up from the seemingly half-done design of the original, this new design gives men lots to look forward to. For starters, it features a pair of perky and juicy 36DD titties on the top of the torso that are sized and positioned perfectly for free-handed fondling. Scaling down from those fun bags is a nice, tight little waist that I personally found ideal for gripping. Overall, the ergonomics on this synthetic slut are rather stellar.

Furthermore, the FMS2 is covered by the Pipedream brand’s patented Fanta Flesh material which closely resembles real skin. In my opinion, the best parts are the holes – a pretty pussy and an ample anus, both of which have adequate depths (8 inches), diameters (approximately 1 inch), and distinctly ribbed canal textures that more than help create a fuckable fantasy. I found the canals be sized just right for my average sized junk, but I feel like it may be a little on the small side for dudes with above average penises. However, I’m sure that with enough lube, almost any man can get a piece of that action.

I especially appreciate how the pussy and asshole are both molded in such a way that they truly look like the real thing: supple lips, a cute clitoris, an inner labium, and a nicely wrinkled anus. Inside the orifices are a pair of unique consistencies that have been made to feel life-like as hell – differing in sensation based on which one you enter. The entire thing is completely waterproof too, which means you can warm it up if you want. That feature also makes it simple to clean out, and you know what that means: lots of fun, none of the hassle. And despite the soft, pliable feel of the toy and the extremely flexible material surrounding it, the Fuck Me Silly 2 contains zero latex or phthalates.

What Comes in the Box?

In my experience, most sex dolls and torsos come with the bare essentials and the Fuck Me Silly 2 is no exception. You won’t get many freebies to get you started with this thing, but you will receive everything required to open it up and start slamming muff immediately. I guess the manufacturer assumes you’re all set with the accessories, or maybe they’re just cheapskates. I haven’t figured that one out yet.

The box, which is rather large and heavy given what’s inside, contains the following items:

• The Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2 (of course)
• An instruction/care manual
• A sample of some pretty decent water-based lube
• A tiny sample of the toy cleaner that the makers suggest using after every session
• A few advertisement leaflets with information about other Pipedream products

Unlike some sex dolls out there, this one isn’t designed to be used with a vibrator nor does it come with any sort of vibrating bullet. Additionally, it’s not compatible with Bluetooth or VR headsets, so you’ll be forced to use only your imagination as you fuck this headless whore. I wasn’t a huge fan of that minor detail, but it did help that the doll itself is weighty and jiggles nicely when you thrust in and out of it. I guess this thing is as real as it gets these days without a live partner or an internet connection.

Fuck Me Silly 2 Review: How It Feels

By comparison, the Fuck Me Silly 2 feels a lot more realistic than the original, plus it gives off more of that “pure flesh” sensation than many of the sex dolls I’ve tried in the past. I noticed that it didn’t reek of chemicals like I was expecting it to, nor did it feature that corny, fake pubic hair on the top of the vagina that just falls off as soon as you wash the toy for the first time. I like my shit real anyway – real smooth.

When examining this Pipedream piece of ass, I felt relieved that all the parts were within reach. While it may not be ideal for dudes with mobility or flexibility problems, the curves are placed just right for a solid grip and tons of heavy petting. And since the material encompassing the internal canals is super soft, running your hands all over this bitch is a dream come true. She might even be down to cuddle afterwards, but I’m not sure. I didn’t ask her.

As far as the vaginal and anal canals go, they’ve got a pretty humanistic quality about them, especially if you take the time to warm things up a bit before sliding inside. The ridges and ribbing feel almost exactly like a real woman’s ass and pussy, although there’s no natural movement and no muscle contractions to go along with it. All in all, the FMS2 provides a decent escape from reality, even if it requires a little prep and creativity to get there.

The Cheers and Jeers

I never go into this assuming the product is going to be perfect. In fact, I’m usually prepared for disappointment. However, the Fuck Me Silly 2 by the Pipedream brand was a pleasant surprise. While it did have some flaws, I won’t sit here and call this thing a piece of junk. After all, sex dolls are one of my favorite types of toys on the market for obvious reasons.

So, without further ado, here are the things I really liked (and really disliked) about this particular toy’s overall design and functionality:

PROS

• Take a Dip – The whole kit and caboodle is 100% water resistant and submersible, which means you can take a hot bath with your new plastic girlfriend and she won’t shrivel and die as a result.
• Warm and Cozy – You can easily heat up each of the canals by simply running some hot water through them for 1-3 minutes – no special sleeve warmer required.
• Dive Right In – Both the pussy and ass canals feel terrific, with plenty of texturizing and superb sensations even with lots of lube on your dick.
• Like a Glove – Eight inches of depth and one inch of girth is the ideal fit for most average sized men, I’d assume.
• Give Me Some Skin – With no harmful phthalates or allergy-activating latex, this thing is perfectly safe for all skin types.
• The Devil Is in the Details – The detailing on the pussy and ass orifices is excellently done, almost like it was inspired by a porn star (even though it’s not).
• Stay Squeezable, America – The material is obviously not real skin, but it’s certainly soft and supple.
• Hot and Heavy – The weight distribution on the Fuck Me Silly 2 is a vast improvement from the original and, in my opinion, far better than most sex torso dolls out there.
• Keep Your Pimp Hand Strong – In terms of form and function, this thing has some terrific ergonomics that make it super easy to keep your grip as you hump and pump.
• Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness – The FMS2 is really easy to clean, that is, as long as you closely follow the care instructions included.

CONS

• Tit for Tat – Ok, so the breasts are just a tad unrealistic, but most of the guys I know prefer a fake rack anyway. They’re perky though, so there’s that.
• Little Doll on the Prairie – In this day and age, almost everything is tech savvy, Bluetooth enabled, or internet connected. I guess the manufacturer of the FMS2 didn’t get the memo on that one.
• Vibe It Out – You can’t hook this bad boy up to a vibrator or bullet either, so you may have to either go without or improvise if you need that to achieve orgasm.
• No Horses Allowed – If you’re hung like a horse you’ll have to try your luck elsewhere, fellas. The Fuck Me Silly 2 won’t accommodate anyone over 8 inches, plus its bottom-out zone is rather uneventful so it might not even be good for guys that long.
• No Dough, No Go – This thing is somewhat expensive as far as sex dolls go, but it’s by far not the costliest sex doll/torso on the market. Some of these bitches go for thousands of dollars and that’s just ridiculous unless it’s gonna get up and make me sandwich.

The Final Verdict

Overall, the Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2 is a fine piece of ass that could be an investment in your well-rounded love life. It has all the features you’d expect from a well-made sex toy that’s been created by a brand with a solid reputation. Although Pipedream is relatively popular, it seems they’ve approached this thing as though they still have something to prove.

And while it may not have all the high-tech bells and whistles I’d like, the Fuck Me Silly 2 will certainly suffice as a surreal sex machine for the time being. I just hope the brand keeps making improvements so that someday I can hook it up to the internet and take advantage of my favorite models and porn stars in real time. For now, though, this thing will do just fine.

NOTE: I do suggest springing for the toy cleaner if you’re going to use this toy often because a quick water rinse will not do the job. I found that some of the moisture stays trapped inside the canal and it can start to stink; they don’t tell you that in the manual. Just play is safe, be smart, and take care of your lady so you can enjoy her for as long as possible.

Elsa is now one of the famous Fleshlight girls, and you know what that means: buyer can get a manual masturbator that’s inspired by that fine vag and ass of hers. It didn’t take long for me to whip out my credit card and buy one, and I wasn’t disappointed. It turns out that the Elsa Jean Tasty texture is the hottest selling sleeve in the brand’s entire inventory. Did you expect anything different? I sure as hell didn’t.

What Is the Elsa Jean Tasty Treat Pocket Pussy Sex Toy?

Ms. Elsa Jean is a hot, young, petite thing with long, golden hair and the perfect pair of pouting lips.  Her Fleshlight toy has a lot of the same qualities, including a pair of perfect little lips. It’s a handheld masturbator that’s been expertly molded into a shape that’s as similar to her size and circumference as humanly possible. And if that doesn’t sound like enough to get your dick hard, wait until I tell you about all the fuckable features.

The Main Features

The Fleshlight Girls are known as the hottest hos in porno, and Elsa Jean is no exception. Her remarkably realistic toy comes in either a pussy or an ass, with both of them equally detailed. Each one has a different sleeve texture, which just makes it even harder to choose my favorite one. The toy itself features the following things:

• A super tight, interchangeable sleeve
• A unique and superior texture that combines knobs, twists, and ridges to create a realistic sensation
• The Fleshlight brand’s patented SuperSkin material
• A sturdy, plastic case that holds the sleeve securely in place while you fuck it
• 9 inches of insertable length
• A hyper realistic vaginal orifice (TASTY) that features life-like labia folds
• A hyper realistic anal orifice (TREAT) that features life-like anus wrinkles
• Compatibility with Fleshlight brand harnesses, sleeve warmers, and the high-tech Launch device

All in all, the Fleshlight Girls Elsa Jean masturbator is exactly like the other 23 Fleshlight Girls toys available, with one glaring difference: it has the endorsement of America’s number one sweetheart.

CLICK HERE TO GET THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET

What Comes in the Box?

One thing I like about the Fleshlight brand (other than the fact that they wasted no time turning Ms. Elsa into a toy) is the fact that they always include a few freebies with their products. While I would have liked a little more of a masculine, updated looking box, I can’t really complain about its contents. Inside the box of the Elsa Jean Tasty Fleshlight are the following items:

• The Fleshlight Girls Elsa Jean masturbator (of course)
• Either the Tasty or the Treat sleeve and orifice
• A small sample of the brand’s patented water-based lube
• An advertisement containing a list of the other Fleshlight Girls toys available
• An instruction manual including care and maintenance tips

What you won’t get in the box is equally as important as what you do get. For example, you don’t receive any toy cleaner or renewal powder, and I find that extremely disappointing. In my experience, I’ve discovered that the renewal powder is more vital that I had originally assumed. While the SuperSkin material is really nice, it’s just like real flesh – it needs to be subjected to a complete regimen to keep it from going to shit.

I highly recommend springing for at least the renewal powder if not for some toy cleaner as well. Fortunately, this thing is rather easy to clean and requires little more than some warm water. However, if you opt for a cheap ass cleaning regimen AND neglect to buy renewal powder, you’ll eventually be sorry.

CLICK HERE TO FIND THE BEST PRICE ON THE INTERNET

How It Feels

What do you mean, how does this toy feel? Are you kidding me? As the best selling Fleshlight sleeve in the lineup, it obviously feels amazing. In my opinion, it’s got one of the most intense textures out there, plus it’s nice and tight just the way I like it.

As for the difference between the Tasty and Treat sleeves, it was pretty hard to pick out my fave. However, after numerous uses I’ve decided that I like the Treat a little better. Not only is the kinkier of the two, but it seems to have a much smaller opening and a more intense sleeve texture overall. Then again, you be the judge. I’ve gone back and forth a thousand times.

The Cheers and Jeers

Even if Elsa Jean is perfect, her toy is not. While I have a lot of things I liked about it, I still found a few flaws that I plan to describe shortly. Before that though, let’s talk about the good shit.

PROS

• Lip Service – There are few things I can think of that are sexier than Elsa Jean’s pussy lips, and this toy captures their beauty flawlessly.
• Get a Grip – The tightness of this thing is remarkable considering it fits perfectly inside any standard Fleshlight case.
• Tickle My Fancy – I had zero complaints about the texture of either the Tasty (pussy) or the Treat (anus) sleeves.
• Great Expectations – I was not let down by the quality of this toy. Fleshlight has done it again.

CONS

• Catch and Release – Just like the other Fleshlight toys, the SuperSkin material catches lint and debris easily, thus requiring frequent and thorough cleanings.

The Final Verdict

Overall, the Fleshlight Girls Elsa Jean masturbator is all any man could ever hope for. The only thing missing is a picture of her face on my wall, but I own the Fleshlight Launch so I found a way around that bullshit. You can find more information or buy Elsa Jean’s sex toy at the official fleshlight website.

It’s not uncommon to come across numerous high-tech sex toys these days. It appears every manufacturer under the sun is jumping on the technological bandwagon, thus offering devices that we could only dream about a few years ago. However, innovation is not always synonymous with excellence and I’ve had to learn that the hard way.

Regardless of my many trials and tribulations, I’ve always been a big fan of toys that are interactive or allow its users to experiment with a variety of sensations. The average cost of sex toys with advanced technology can be a shock to the system, so any single device that gives me the opportunity to explore the boundaries of my perversion is a very good thing. I may be sick minded but I’m not into wasting my money. Homey just don’t play that.

So, when I heard about the latest invention from a brand I already trusted, I just knew it was going to impress. Kiiroo, the people who brought us the Onyx and Pearl, has introduced the Titan Feel Porn Stars Experience and it’s not a moment too soon. When most of the other sex toy makers are dragging their feet and leaving us anxious for an updated orgasm, this brand delivers what we need with the timing of a Swiss watch.

What Is The Titan Vibrating Male Stroker ?

The name of this thing may be misleading considering how it’s simply a handheld masturbating unit, but then again it might be right on the money. After all, it’s not like anything else I’ve seen and it damn sure produces an actual “experience,” not just a halfway decent nut. It’s designed to increase a man’s stamina and maximize his endurance in the bedroom. Meanwhile, it has a handful of features that make it an all-around terrific toy even if you have no trouble in those areas.

And while it looks more like a Bluetooth speaker and less like a jerk-off machine, that might actually be a good thing. Since the Titan is such an all-inclusive sex toy for both individuals and couples, the chances of it remaining on your nightstand are high and thus, the discretion of the overall design is quite convenient. At first glance, I was immediately impressed, not to mention curious. However, my obsession with this bad boy only increased as I explored its many features. Put simply, I haven’t wanted to leave my room in days.

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE OFFICIAL TITAN WEBSITE

Kiiroo Titan Review: The Main Features

The reasons for my seclusion will make more sense once I get done describing the Titan in full. I’ve already told you that it’s a handheld male masturbator, but I haven’t gotten into the juicy stuff yet. This thing has features that will blow your mind, blow your dick, and blow the competition right out of the water. Let me explain:

• It has a user-friendly control interface that lets you set the stroke to a variety of speeds and intensities by using the ultra-sleek touch-sensitive pads that run down the side of the device.
• It has 9 different vibrating bullets that operate individually or in tandem.
• It offers 6 distinct vibe modes (targeted, targeted power, auto, blow, pulse, and endurance).
• It’s designed with an ergonomic shape and provides well-placed grip-supporting notches on the side to help you hold on for dear life while you lose control of your senses.
• It features the brand’s patented “real-feel” sleeve with unique textures that simulate the sensations of fucking the Kiiroo Experience Girls – a band of porno pros that includes:
  • Asa Akira
  • Bobbi Eden
  • Jessica Drake
  • Romi Rain
  • Lisa Ann
  • Tanya Tate
• It’s connectable to an interactive internet platform with over 4,000 2D or VR videos which allows you to experience real-time sex with your favorite partners and porn stars.
• It can be paired with other Kiiroo toys like the Onyx 2 and Pearl, plus it has no distance limits and can be enjoyed no matter where you are in the world.
• It comes with 1,500 coins that can be redeemed on the FeelPornStars.com website.
• It’s nearly silent, which only increases your discretion.
• • ABS shell
  • TPE sleeve
  • NBR internal bullet holder It’s made with skin-safe materials:
• It features a single button used to turn the device on and off or easily cycle through the various vibe settings.
• It measures 8.7 inches (or 221mm) in length and 3.4 inches (or 87mm) in diameter.
• It’s lightweight too, coming in at just under 2 pounds.
• It has a fully rechargeable battery.
• It runs for about 30 to 40 minutes with every charge, depending on how you use it.

Granted, the Titan does require a secure internet connection to enjoy all its features but it’s 2018. If you don’t have a net connection by now, you should be spending your money on joining the real world instead of spending it on high-tech sex toys like this. Still, you get a lot of bang for your buck with this thing and it’s not even as expensive as you’d assume. After all, I’ve spent two or three times more cash on toys that do less than half of what the Titan does, and it’s nobody’s fault but my own.

Kiiroo Titan Review: What Comes in the Box?

With so much put into the toy itself, I wasn’t surprised to see that the box was relatively plain, unimpressive, and basic. It looks quite commercial, but it does feature pictures of the Kiiroo Experience Girls on each side. So, if all else fails, you can use the box as whacking material until you get your internet set up. There’s a silver lining around every grey cloud, boys and girls.

Inside the box you’ll get the following items:

• The Titan Interactive Vibrating Stroker by Kiiroo (of course)
• A USB Pin charging cable
• A warranty card (yes, this bad boy comes with a quality guarantee)
• A set of illustrated setup instructions

The product manual that lists care and safety instructions is not included in the box and needs to be downloaded and/or printed to view, but it’s free and only take a few minutes. Furthermore, you won’t get any lube samples or toy cleaner with your purchase, so be sure you’re prepared beforehand. The manufacturer expressly exempts itself from any chaffing or skin irritation you may experience and so do I. You have been warned.

How Does The Titan by Kiiroo Feel?

As a stand-alone masturbator, it’s not the greatest thing I’ve ever used. However, once the features are explored it becomes the king of the ring. You simply can’t beat a toy that allows you to fuck a partner or a porn star at will, let alone the fact that it comes with a superbly textured sleeve, free interactive database coinage, and a sleek, discreet design.

The Cheers and Jeers

Although it may be difficult to figure out how the Titan can possibly have any flaws, it’s still quite possible. Nothing is perfect, not even this thing. However, there are certainly more pros than cons, so we will begin with the good stuff before we start talking shit.

PROS

• Over the Hills and Through the Snow – No matter where you or your partner are, the long-distance relationship supporting Titan works like you’re both in the same room.
• Home Alone – Even if you don’t have a willing lover to share the experience, this toy provides real-time sexual pleasure.
• Cock Star – The Titan allows you to fuck big-name porn stars right in the comfort of your own home.
• I’ve Got the Power – This is by far one of the most powerful vibrating masturbators I’ve ever encountered, and I’m not just saying that. It’s like holding a rocket ship in your hand.
• Mix and Match – With 9 vibrating bullets and 6 different speed/intensity settings, plus access to online content and connectivity to other Kiiroo products, it’s extremely hard to get bored with the Titan.
• It Look-a-Like-a-Man – This badass piece of machinery is super masculine looking, not to mention difficult to recognize as a dirty little sex toy.
• Do You even Lift, Bro? – The lightweight design makes it easy to jerk off without getting fatigued.
• Charged Filed – The powerful battery can be recharged with the USB cable and provides nearly an hour of nonstop fun.
• A Rash of Good Luck – Since it’s made from high-quality skin-safe materials, you don’t have to worry about irritation or allergic reactions unless you use the wrong lube (or use none whatsoever, which I highly discourage).

CONS

• Is This Thing On? – While the Titan may be fully rechargeable, the sucker takes 3 to 3 ½ hours to get its groove back once it goes dead.
• Loose as a Goose – The circumference of this toy’s sleeve isn’t the tightest thing I’ve ever felt, but I suppose that’s a good thing for dudes with horse dicks.
• Making the Connection – At times, I experienced a lag in my internet connection which translated into a small delay in the online video feed.
• It Comes and Goes – Although it’s very generous for the manufacturer to provide 1,500 free coins for the interactive database, that shit goes quick. Get your wallets out, boys.
• Dry Your Eyes – The Titan is in no way, shape, or form waterproof. But, that’s what you get when you start playing with these high-tech sex toys.

WHERE TO BUY THE TITAN ONLINE:

KIIROO TITAN OFFICIAL WEBSITE

CLICK THE BUTTON TO REVEAL A SPECIAL 10% TITAN DISCOUNT CODE:

[jcorgcrcoupon slug=’MensToysHubSpecialDiscountCodeCopyCopy’ id=’38’]

The Final Verdict

I was more than impressed by Kiiroo’s new baby. It’s very technologically advanced but it isn’t so high-tech that it’s difficult to use. Overall, the Kiiroo Titan is certainly a winner that’s well worth every penny in my book. You can find more information or buy this amazing sex toy at their official website.